death or live?

i was 6 i didnt know…i wasnt sure.. i was scared….we thought it was harmless….they threatned…. when me and my cousin was 6 we was rapped by my brother and three of his friends untill we was 11… at first we knew nothing about it… then once we realized what was happening we said we would tell well they threatened us… he kept shut…till one day my cousin brother told our parents..everything got out…my dad tried killing himself infront of me… tried to leave me… i started cutting myself…..deeper and deeper…more and more blood… no one would talk about it..everyone wanted to keep it quite…no one knows how much it hurts me to know what happened and they all deny it…i never forgave him….sometimes i hope he dies…i told someone that i thought was my best friend…but he told the whole high school..there was a few that picked on me..made fun of me…what was so funny about it??? called me a whore… how was i??? i was being forced..i started the cutting again…i ended up in the hospital and two A… i was home schooled… everyone forgot about it…everything went back to normal…. in 2008 my brother hung himself over a girl..everyone laughed at him..everyone made fun of me cuz i would start balling out of no where.. i had cuts again… everyone said he was a ***** until one day they told me to go hang myself like your brother did..just say no one fucks with me now… when i see someone getting bullied i make sure i step in..once they realize ill defend that person that person dont get fucked with anymore…. i dont take no ones shit… ill do anything i can to make sure no one takes their life..bullies are just people that are scared to face their problems and talk….