What you left behind

I have lived a life of what if’s and empty promises. How are you suppose to know what love  is when all you know is hate. I can’t love someone when all they do is bring me down, Obliterate every wall I have built to nothing and drill me with insults. 
You are nothing to me. You have never ment anything to me. I don’t even know how you even found love yourself cause all u are is hate. All you knew was hate. And all we will remember about you is hate. But I don’t feel sorry for you. You brought this on yourself. How could you have not known what would have happen. You are a nobody and you deserve everything that I think about you. 
I use to pray for you to get better that you wouldn’t hurt yourself anymore or us. And at that time i thought god let me down when you died. That he was punishing me for not helping you.  Now I know that god answered my prayers right. As the bible says god will protect you from your enemies, he surly did in this case. He stopped all the hurting all the pain. He saved this hole family. But not even god can stop the eternal loss that you left behind.