Suicide.
Unfortunately I can’t say that I don’t understand why people do it… ‘Cause I do, I tried to commit suicide myself…
I was 15 when I started to cut my wrists, I don’t really know why, I just did it to forget the pain, to shut up the voices in my head. I guess I don’t really have a lot to say about this, I just… I just hope that some day I could stop doing it.
My boyfriend says he’s proud of me ’cause I haven’t done since august… but he doesn’t know I still do it and I don’t want him to know, because he would be really sad and mad if he found out.
I guess it’s my way out of my problems, but rigth now I don’t really think that it’s working. I guess I always knew it was a stupid thing to do to myself but… Everytime something bad happens the only thing I can think about is “Cut” ….
4 comments
you should find comfort in the fact that your boyfriend would be upset if he found out you were still cutting. when i was cutting in high school only my best friend knew and she was quite upset. though it didnt much stop me from doing it (i was not suicidal at the time, i only did it for the feeling of release) it felt good to know she was concerned. you can get over it though, i havent cut for about eight years.
It’s good to know that he cares, but I can’t stand the look in his eyes when he sees the scars in my wrists.. I ‘ve tried to stop cutting, but it’s like you said, every time I do it I feel release and the pain and the voices in my head stop.. And for that short moment I’m relaxed. I don’t know what to do, I want to stop but I can’t…
i have to tell you from a practical standpoint it sucks to have to still wear long sleeves in the summer to work. depends on your work i guess, but the scars definitely get in the way for me. i know what its like to almost need the release, the feel the blood flowing out of you and get that moment of serenity… i turned to artwork and writing after i stopped cutting. i did eventually turn to marijuana as well. admittedly this helped me relieve the tension without bloodshed. if you genuinely hear voices then that sounds like schizophrenia, and perhaps certain medications would help. in terms of natural remedies for stress, valerian and st johns wort are said to help.
The voices in my head.. I don’t even remember when they started, i think i’ve been hearing them since I was a kid. And its not schizophrenia, i’ve been to the doctor… He said I was depress and made me take a lot of pills that turned me into a zombie! And I hated it, because the voices dind’t stoped.
I feel like you, I need to relax, thats it! just relax.. but I’ve tried everything, and I can’t relax… so I cut