Hi, I have really wild depressive/suicidal episodes that just totally demotivate me and has really bad psychological impacts. It usually starts from something little and I just get super suicidal to the point where I’m on the edge of doing it. I really don’t want to live my life like this soon somethings gonna snap and I’m gonna do it, each time it’s worse. Last time it happened I put a bag over my head and the the only thing that stopped me was thinking about my family finding my body. This time I was at my friends house and for two days all I wanted to do was hang myself, I looked at tutorials and everything I can only imagine what would happen if I was at home. I just need some help, I know the episodes usually disappear over some time but when it happens all I want to do is die 🙁
I really need some help, I’m not willing to tell anyone or see any professional help but how do people usually cope with it?
4 comments
be strong! 🙁
A doctor can prescribe a very basic and largely non-invasive medication to help you with this. It will help you stabilise your seratonin levels. Clinical depression affects a huge amount of people, you’d be suprised. Let a doctor help you tackle it now and you can beat it.
As for other things you can do (as well as seeing a doctor) I’d reccomend meditation (seriously; look at youtube guides) regular exercise (some kind of disciplined martial art especially because it incorporates eastern philosophy) eating well (this is so important) and plenty of reading. There’s a huge exciting world out there within reach. Find something that excites you and motivates you and chase it.
All the best,
Jack
Man I never realized how bad this had gotten
ask yourself what stops you everytime. Is it hope? Is it fear of failure? is it pain? Then ask yourself if you had 1 day to do whatever you wanted that was achievable to make you smile/laugh/breathe what would you do?
Now if you are aware u are in a depressive state right at the very minute try to imagine you are on a surf board and you were knocked down by a massive wave [depression spurt] your immediate thought is I am going to drown [suicidal thought/ attempt] then by a freak of nature the pressure of the water pulls you back up onto a calm section of the surf and you just paddle [brain calm]. Then you get back up on your board and head for another wave [hope] but a bigger one is heading your way [panic/ fear of the unknown] it pulls you down again, this time harder as you are inexperienced still [depression]…again it pulls you out and you are exhausted by now, trying to work out how to conquer the next one….but the next one is smaller and you ride it well…[pride at success/lesson]….this is grief/life/struggles and depression. Once you break through you will face life’s challenge’s, the trick is actually to recognize when u are on that high wave and ride it, accept you may fail but keep trying as another wave will always be there for you to get through and even conquer. A counselor told me this once and it has helped me get through every depression spout without drugs. I have practiced that wave so much I now know its arrival and hold onto the fact that the force of that wave will bring me back up to the surface if I just let it ride. It helped me I hope it helps you a little too.