I’m absolutely at a loss as to what’s going on in my life. Over the course of one year I went from having everything I wanted (fiance, her children that I adored, great house, decent savings) and now I have nothing. Turns out she was using me, and left me with nothing. I have spent the past year trying to find a reason to go on, but with nothing changing I just cannot figure out why I put forth the effort anymore to go on. I spend most nights asleep in the streets. I’ve actually made it a point to get arrested on nights when the weather is going to be bad so I don’t have to sleep in the cold or rain. I recently walked from Kentucky to southern Florida to stay in the warmer weather and avoid piling up anymore arrests to get out of the cold.
I’ve taken to cutting myself. Not for the reason of feeling anything but strictly to get used to what it feels like when the blade tears my skin open and eventually I go deep enough that the bleeding won’t stop.
4 comments
Do you have relatives you can move in with? How is it possible she took your home? I realize my questions may be agonizing, sorry for that, but I seriously wonder at your case.
She didn’t take the home. After she wiped out the money and left I couldn’t afford the home and was promptly evicted.
How on earth was she capable of getting away with something so terrible?
Looks as if you have been exposed to something just plain evil, and I understand your need to cave right now, but you can’t let someone else’s misdeeds be the end of you.
I think there is something else going on other than what your saying. Are you taking drugs?
I too have had my life ripped apart and walls broken down. But, as they say the best revenge is success. There’s probably a ton of people who loved to watch you fall. It’s whether you get back up again that makes the difference.
Obviously your old enough to understand how this world works and how you can be up one minute and lose it all the next. However, 99% of the people living on the street have some type of addiction and I think that’s probably the root of your problem.
Get that fixed and start winning again. You probably have read the bible a million times I’m sure but check out the cats that lost everything and got it back 10 fold. You just have to be willing to get it back. If you don’t have a will to survive then there’s really nothing anyone can do for you. You gotta find your purpose…instead of being selfish and killing yourself figure out a way to help other people in your shoes get back on their feet….you will find purpose there.