Lost in the dark.

I dont know how to feel or think. i am scared to think about what i am thinking about. i feel like my life is on the edge and nobody is there to pick me up before i fall over and never have to worry about feeling this fucking pain that is dragging me down so far that i can not get up. i have nothing to even live for i just want to give the fuck up my family shuns me cause of my reputation i am the black sheep of the family. i get degraded all the time because i am not good enough for them. why do i think that will change they have always treated me like shit cuz i am not good enough for them. i just want the pain gone i dont want to feel anymore i want to be completely numb.