I will never want to live. Just like how some people know they will never enjoy rap music. I will never enjoy life. I’m not depressed. Just like how you KNOW you will never be an NBA star, I know I will never want to live. Imagine something you hate doing. For me, its waking up and being alive. Let’s say for you, that you have NO intention of being a plumber. You have a strong nose and weak stomach. What if I told you that to enjoy being a plumber you had to follow your plumbing dreams and make your own path as a plumber, and be the best plumber you can? Do yyou want to be a plumber now? Is there still no way you’d do it? Why not? Is it because of the shite and bacteria you’d be exposed to? What if I said that to be a plumber you have to have theright attitude about the bacteria and feces? Would you then become a plumber? Even though you have no intention or desire to become one? What if I told you that if you were less depressed and had a better attitude about sifting through toilet water, bacteria, and feces, that you would really enjoy it more? What if you said you’re not depressed and I tell you to become a plumber to prove it?
Sounds pretty f-ing stupid doesn’t it.
I don’t want to live. I’m sane. I’m not depressed. I’ve had enough.
I also don’t like green olives.
Judge me for wanting death and I’ll judge you for insinuating meaning into your life.
Your loved ones will be devastated if you kill yourself. Do my loved ones have a higher value than me? Because I’m devastated each day that Im alive. Who’s devastation takes precedence? Are they more important than I am? On top of living a life I hate, should I also consider their feelings above my own?
I just want to die. There are others like me. The govt could make it easy. Just help us Mr Politician. Think of all the jobs it will create and how it could help the economy.
4 comments
re: your plumber analogy…
Becoming a plumber seems borne of necessity rather than preference.
Imagine growing up in a home where tub and sink drains constantly clog and get backed up, toilets won’t flush, and overflow, or naked pipes burst in the winter… and no one else is a plumber, so no one can fix it without calling a plumber and paying him, which then places additional hardship on the family; perhaps they cannot pay the electric bill that month, or have to rely on ramen noodles for a while.
Wouldn’t you get sick and tired of that?
Would you then perhaps decide: “you know what? I’m going to be a plumber. That way, i’ll never have to pay someone else to unclog drains and repair broken pipes; i’ll never have to deal with overflowing or non-flushing toilets; i’ll do the damn dirty work myself, so that i won’t have to deal with the results of lacking those abilities.”
If you were constantly exposed to bad plumbing, you might want to become a plumber.
But i don’t know how to relate that to life, because… what do you do when life sucks? There is no “life school” which teaches and certifies people for “living life.” There are so many problems in life that either don’t have viable solutions, or are perpetuated by the few who benefit from them, despite the far greater and more plentiful detriment to the larger number of people who do not benefit from perpetuation of those problems.
But yeah. Someone who has no requirement of toiling in filth, is not going to want to become a plumber. It takes being exposed to problems, to produce a motivation for solving them. But then, becoming a plumber isn’t just being motivated to solve problems… that’s taking it even further and making a career out of it. And i suppose people do that because they know “it’s a dirty job; someone’s gotta do it; most people do not want to do it.”
i messed up that counter-analogy.
Obviously, becoming a plumber doesn’t mean “never dealing with those problems,” but rather means dealing with plumbing problems constantly, not avoiding ever dealing with them at all.
So it’s basically learning a less common skill set, and taking on extra and unappealing duty, in order to provide a service to correct the problems you, yourself, despise… because most people don’t want to do it, but almost all of them share the aversion to those problems.
@ynotdie….oh my God, you sent chills up my being. I feel that way, to be honest I dont think I always did, however felt different ways. But the reality is I do now and for awhile.
I get it!!
Plumber analogy ahhh..I still get it. I know you are sane. Good luck.
Ok maybe that wasn’t the best analogy. What I’m trying to say is that I hate life. People call me depressed and tell me to have a better attitude about it. Its similar to working in a field that has no interest to oneself. If I hated being a plumber, for example, I could choose not to become one and nobody would question me about it and say things like “you need to have a better attitude in order to enjoy plumbing”. If I don’t want to do or be apart of something, like bungee jumping or a game of duck duck goose, it doesn’t mean I’m depressed. But since the thing that holds no interest for me is life, people say I must be sad or crazy. Not wanting to be a part of something doesn’t mean one is “not right in the head”. Just because I have no career ambitions, desire to contribute to society, or any interest in living, and someone else DOES have these interests, doesn’t make me abnormal. Its like chastising a plumber for not wanting to be a lawyer. People have different goals. My goals don’t include moving forward in life. I just want to die, why can’t I just go somewhere like in Soylent Green, and have some assistance with it? Why are all the other methods so barbaric and questionable? Some people should have the right to die, and the govt could help make it easier for these people. And by some I meann ALL