All my life all I wanted is a girlfriend. Someone to love. I’m a very successful guy and have always done well in everything throughout my life. Got a nice house, great job, new Benz, plenty of cash, and I’m an awesome guy. I love women and have tons of friends and a great family. Everywhere else in my life is wonderful except for this huge missing piece. And I can’t take the loneliness anymore. I just want someone to hold at night and say I love you to everyday. My life feels so empty and meaningless without that special someone in it.
This is how it goes for me when I start dating someone. It’s always great at first. We have fun going out. Have great conversations. Shit goes awesome and then when it’s time to have sex…….. this is where it ALWAYS goes wrong.
She takes ONE god dam look at my junk and it’s all over. Done.
You see I have an extremely large dick, and I think it’s really intimidating to women. I mean I ain’t gonna lie. Sometimes I feel like I need a wheelbarrow just to walk around sometimes. It’s fucking huge. The last girl ran out of the room screaming. I liked her so much and thought she would finally be the one that wouldn’t bounce on me when she found out. But I was wrong of course.
I don’t know what to do. I can’t take being single the rest of my life.
I’m just gonna blast myself. Fuck it. I’d rather be dead then be alone for the rest of my life.
4 comments
seems legit
Post a photo.
gotta love the jokers on here
Being saddled with a gargantuan shlong isn’t as easy as most think.
The next time you find yourself in a situation where the broads gonna bolt, you say “don’t worry. I’ll
Just put the tip in. This won’t hurt a bit”. Works like a charm. Once you get to the naked phase its unlikely she wants to run away. If you’ve scared her, you need to get diplomatic.
How old are you? You haven’t figured this out yet? I halfway suspect this post is bogus. Everyone with “elephant junk” figures this out by the time they’re 17.