As I Awake Wishing I Wouldn’t. Deep Anguish Of Hate. The Feeling Of Burning Sensation Through Out My Hole Body As I See My Demons Following Me insisting On Killing Me Bringing Me Pain Of Faces Of Dead One. They Look At Me With Such Disgust Say (Why?) (Why Don’t You Come With Us?) (Why Are You Living To Die) And As I Reply I Want To . No I’m Going To With The Deepest Pit With Ashes Hollowing Out With Moments Of Gratitude Of Death. Because To Be Dead Is A lot Better To Live With No Purpose In Life No Love No Feeling Of lust or hope, Anguish Just Feeling Off Thankfulness Waiting for Death Of Myself. Mirrors Ever Where To Show The Numbness Bleeding Through Me And Disgust Anguished Feeling Of Hopelessness Flooding Through My Vines. They Say stay Positive . . . . For What War, Death, Destruction? I Tell You This Know. If Life Never Had Evil. . . . Then It Is Life At All. Life Is Full Of Sinning Ungrateful Humans. With There Idea Of Fun And Happiness By Drinking Doing Drugs. I Say Nah . The New Generations Should Be More Fear loathing Of The New Beginning Of The New World. It’s Nothing Unless You Have Faith. Faith In The Lord Faith In The Bible. Demons May Present An Almost righteousness Over You With There Thought Of Pushing You To The Point Of Insanity. If You Have Loved Ones With You It Can Do A lot. But If You See As I See Most Off My Life Plan White Walls Strips Fighting Stabbings And All Other Kind Of Horror You Would Wonder Why I Haven’t Pulled The Trigger. And Living With Severe Bio-Polar Disorder Which Makes It More Easy To Say To Hell With Life Everything. I Just Call Someone And It’s Always Better For A Second Opinions And To See What’s There Feeling To Stay Alive When Nobody Want’s You. You Makes Things Worst You’re Actions Just Make The Feeling Of Anguish Worst So Tell Me. Girlfriend, Family And Friends/ But Friends Often Betray You And Family Will Most Likely Never Help You In You’re Time Of Hardship. And Women A Very Deceitful Un trust Worthy. And He Say’s Family Will Always Be There For You Love You unconditionally And There Love Will Never Fade. Friends Will Be There More Then Family Sometimes But More When IT’s Needed. A Girlfriend To Help You. Smooth You Keep You’re Head Up And Be With You Through Out Hardship. Gotta Say There Is A Song I Truly Love It’s Called Puno De Tierro By Ramon Ayala. A Song About Death If You Understand Spanish I Believe You Should Hear It. I Always Find It Easy In Life To Kill Myself As Easy As Walking, Breathing, Talking,  Being Judged Wrongful. It Happens Every Day In My Life. It’s Hard. Not Wanted To Breath Live Be Loved No IT’s Not Hard To Because You Get To A Point IN You’re Life It’s Easy To Go. 21 Years Old Dang People Have Lived My Life Twice Three Times They Still Say It’s To Early. . . I Say 21 . . . . Haaha 21 Years I Should Have Been Dead. Fuck Bi-Polar Disorder Fuck My Worthless Life Fuck It All. Heaven Or Hell. There No Demons Waiting For Me When I Dye They Won’t Be With Me. Because I Believe In No Hell It’s A Roman Type Of Death. It’s An Ashy Pit Of Death Cause Roman Time They Would Drop People In A Pit Of Tare And When Death Was Most Likely Ashes Will Arise And Shine Fourth. There Is No Hell Just Torment In Which Is Staying In Purgatory. Worst Then Death Is Knowing You Can’t Leave The People Around You. And As I Pray Here For My Uncle And My Friends Who Have Been Sent To A Better PLace I Always Wonder Why Not My Unstead Of My . Myself No Family No Love No Nothing. My Life In Question MEANINGLESS And As I Sit Here Another Day Alive Brings More Harm To Myself And Others It’s Not Worth It What? You Might Ask Life. . . . Life . . . . Mine Anyways Always Gunna Be Cold And Full Of Betrayal. Not Worth It. With Most Suicidal Moments In Darkness And Every Time I Awake I Say What Happened And In Angry Knowing I Tired To Kill Myself As I Look At My Arms Legs And Taste The Never Death That Did Not Stricken Me And I Say Why. Why Couldn’t I Dye This Time This More Disgusted Then Ever. As I Say To Myself Again Why I’m I Still Here . Has The People Say They Love Me And I Walk Away With No Lust Of Love My Feeling Stay The Same. . . . Blank, Errie Forgetfullness No Need To Be Here .
So I Say Let’s See What Happends.
P.S. There Actually Something To Live For My Beautiful Girlfriend
My Loving Family And My Blessed Friends . Till We Meet Again My Loyal Friend.
But than again. . . Who am I too faith life. But friends fuqked love ones. We all bleed the same blood we all breath the same air. But we don’t understand the meaning of life. But maybe I do. It’s easy, we live too die. Once you take your first breath till the end. At the end. All you got is that last breath. Good look if you survive on that last breath or not. When I’m dead…. just leave,me dead! An leave me alone. Live life cause at the end.. everyone forgets. Everyone.