what the fuck do you want from me………
I am who I am. You chose to not accept me, I did not ask to be here. I know I was never good enough, I was never good enough. why do people say pray? what does prayers do for me but give me false hopes. I see no change after prayer, the world still hates me after I pray. Whose choice was it to bring me into this this world, I never asked for my life, nor do I care about it. I am a lost soul who spent 30 years looking for acceptance and love and never got it. what is love and why does it matter, I spent all my life wasting my love and giving it to those who never wanted it. Marriage and divorce it’s all the same, you give your all just for it to be taken away. pain, sorrow, it’s feels the same, you fake a smile just to keep sane. only pretty people survive in this cold world. Life is war and you fight everyday just to make it to the next mission. Life and people throwing grenades constantly in laughter, with their pretty faces and luxurious and lavished lives. They say that life gets better and you make it out to be what you want, but what if life is against you. You cant stand a chance. you can only love so much and never have an ounce for yourself before your drained. you can only live for other for so long before its time to let them go. The only way out is erasing yourself from life, from history. I will remain a memory to my kids but a relief for my so called husband. I hope that young piece of ass makes you happy, for I will be gone. Do her as you please and be happy.
1 comment
I sense that you are angry. Anger is a strong emotion and you are probably entitled to be experiencing it right now. But you should never make big decisions when you are angry. Just my two cents worth. Btw…I kinda sensed something else under the anger…loads of hurt and despair. I feel your pain…and your righteous indignation. But I also know this is not the type of thing you want your children to have in their memory.
I’m willing to listen if you want to talk some of this out…maybe get you to a calmer place. I feel ya. I’ve been through the wars myself. No offense…but when I lose control of my emotions…I call it a major temper tantrum. Anger is good until you turn it against yourself…that’s all I’m really trying to say. You’re punishing the wrong person.
Love and Light
Ama