I’m so fucking tired of being alone. It seems this has been a recurring theme throughout my life and I’m just so done dealing with it. I’ve finally given up hope that I can be romantically intimate with a man, but I’ve always thought I at least deserved a good friend or two. Guess it’s not meant to be.
Cruel joke, life. Simply cruel.
And I don’t understand why this has been an issue for me. I know I’m not hideous, ugly, projecting neediness, unfriendly or a *****. I honestly do not get it. The only men who want to be involved with me either have girlfriends, are married, or are abusive (like the jerk I once married). None want friendships, neither males nor females that I encounter.
And this is the reason I’ll kill myself. There must be something horribly wrong with me. I’m not good enough. I have no value. Nobody wants me. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares.
Cruel joke, life. Simply cruel.
17 comments
I have the same issue. I see happy couples daily, and it makes me jelous but also makes me question why I don’t have this. I am a perfectly normal looking person, I’m not drop dead gorgeous or anything but I am perfectly average. Sometimes I question my personality, thinking its my extreme awkwardness or something. I just want to let you know that this a big struggle for me and that you are not alone in this.
FLWaterguy99@gmail.com
I’ll b your friend.
Thank you for understanding, thesuicidalfreak. It blows big time, doesn’t it?
I’ve been dealing with this my ENTIRE life. I’m not teenager or even in my twenties; this has been going on for a long time. Fucking sucks.
I think life has dealt me a jaded hand. The Gods are laughing and making bets to see how long I’ll endure this bullshit. I’m sure of it. There is no other reason for it.
send me an email.
we have things to discuss.
Wifeisgone… don’t have anyway to email you.
u have Skype? anything else?
I believe you have a son? (remember reading other post you made), maybe that scares some people away? not many people are willing to raise a child which is not theirs… that’s the only reason i can think off from reading your post, you seem smart, and the things you pointed you are not are practictly most of the things i can think might scare someone away. Maybe it is the god(s) mocking some people’s life regarding relationships in general… know that you are not alone, even if it doesn’t help saying that, lol.
hum, no email…… why not?
I do have a son keief. Good memory on my previous post. But my son just turned eighteen so nobody has to worry about raising him.
I’m thin. I’m athletic. I’m educated. I’m kind. I’m compassionate. I’m funny. What can I tell you? People just don’t want to have anything to do with me, except for married men or men in committed relationships. I’m not exaggerating either. It’s completely true. And forget friendships. No way.
This has been an issue my entire life. I’m fucking sick of living like this. I can’t make people want to be with me, be my friend or be my lover.
So I sit home alone nights and cry. What a wonderful life.
Just saw your email addy, Wifeisgone. Will send one out in a few. Thank you.
i already did
FLwaterguy99@gmail.com
a lot of cheaters and liars out there. Look at what I was married to for 14 years…… was with her 17 total.
ok
Then i really don’t know… i can only say it’s their loss but i guess that doesn’t help at all either, i know how it is to be alone but because i impose it to myself most of the time, and i even have a few people trying to reach out to me anyway (like one every 2 years on full moon or something… haha).
Regarding the married/in relationship men, well, i can find a reason for that… men cheat, and men at that age do tend to look around for “diversity”, even if they are in a good and happy relationship (women do too, but that’s another case). So if they see a woman like you who has a lot going for her, sure, they’ll try to get close. Now… as for friendship between a man and a woman? that’s a difficult one, i might say even not possible in most cases.
I know it’s not much but there are more people like you (tons, to be honest), and who knows, maybe you’ll eventually find someone who really cares and values you for what you are (based on what you say, i have to say you must be quite a catch haha), i know most people here care even if it’s just a website of screwed up/alone people trying to help each other, lol.
thanks. I just emailed you back
In spite of your loneliness and depression – know this – if you have your health you can lead a perfectly happy life without other people, creative acts are often more satisfying than company. If you have health then fine forget another person in your life for the moment , but not your life, your well being should not be dependant on the perceived essentiality of a partnered relationship.
I share your predicament. I have an athletic physique and masculine, if a bit rugged, facial features. I have a facility with words and decent interactive skills, I think. My chief, apparently unforgivable defect is that I’m short–only 5’7. This apparently trumps whatever other qualities, physical or otherwise, I might have to recommend me to a romantic partner. Women and men treat me with contempt. It’s not imaginary, it’s unmistakable, palpable. I often feel like Frankenstein’s monster–as if I belong to another species of animal despised by the human community. At least you have a family. Apparently someone thought highly enough of you to make children with you. I’m 32 and will probably never enjoy that privilege that so many take for granted. I know what crushing loneliness feels like. I can only console you with solidarity, which I think can sometimes be more healing than reassurances. I do agree with the poster above: you have a lot, if you have your health. I have epilepsy. For two years, my seizures were not controlled by medication. My shoulder was destroyed by chronic convulsions and reliably meeting the responsibilities of work seemed impossible. Of course it compounded my depression, which is comorbid with epilepsy. Fortunately, my seizures are now controlled. I’ll never take my health for granted again.