you know it’s quite funny now, it’s almost like ive gone looney, ive felt like shit for 3 years now im a senior In highschool I have goals I guess but I just feel like nothing matters, I barely have any friends, no one even tries to talk to me it’s like I text people..well try, and no reply I used to get terribly sad nd just feel alone but now it’s like I don’t care ive taken up drinking a while back about a year and 1/2 ago ive gotten alcohol poisoning numerous times ive had friends but they stop being friends with me cos, apparently im fucking lame since that’s the only explanation of why nobody tries to talk to me. and ive thought about suicide but it’s like I just don’t care to try it. I just drink till I black out check my phone …*no texts* it’s like im already dead to everybody? im not ugly well I don’t think I am. I definitely do not believe in love I don’t want a relationship cos in high school your mostly likely to be stuck with an std than your “high school sweetheart” trust me I’ve liked plenty of girls and have been fucked over by every single one of them. but they don’t care of course they just used me then recycled me to the next girl, but in these past three years I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of girls are the same they think and act the same deep down, they want a guy to like them so they don’t feel empty so they can just lead a guy on until they find someone they like, so I choose now not to like anyone even though I already broke my rule and like someone which is going downhill very fast, liking someone just leads to problemos. basically my whole from 8th grade to now has been one big fucked up carnival ride with loose bolts. im on winter break now and have been in my room watching Netflix non stop. with the only person I can talk to is alcohol. and she’s very talkative. im not saying my life is not necessarily bad. I mean I’ve had some fun times but it just feels like im missing something very crucial in my life that is slowly taking all emotions out of me.
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I understand you… Sometimes we have all we need and yet we feel empty.
It truly sucks when someone uses you and throws you away like an used tissue.
To escape all of our problems, we seek something which indulges us completely into it, and then it becomes addictive, irresistible, and takes control…
But hey, life continues, and we should always keep faith and hope 🙂
You already seem to be there 🙂 You know you have qualities, you know you’re not ugly (and that’s a great thing to have confidence in your appearance; something many/most people don’t have) and you have a great sense of humour 🙂
Nevermind those motherfuckers who don’t talk/text you; people now a days suck everywhere. Everybody is selfish and only makes friend by measuring their use.
You say you don’t really care about people, but (I think; just my opinion, I don’t know you so I can’t be sure though) perhaps you do which is why you’ve been drinking… Maybe you should use your “gift of loneliness” (trust me it’s a present to be alone in this world full of retards) to do whatever you want, what you wish to do, because nobody will hold you back 🙂 And you seem to be decent unlike most high-schoolers who are sex obsessed goblins.
Just don’t feel bad about anything, because shit happens, and even worse shit can happen sometimes…but we all gotta keep moving on and hope that things get better sometimes…When we keep on falling for too long, and finally hit rock-bottom, there’s nothing left except going up 🙂
Just don’t worry too much (and maybe try to fix your alchoholism, or maybe not; it’s your life, you do what you want) 🙂 Remember that there are worse pieces of shit (like me) out there. 🙂
wow when I posted this I hadn’t expected anyone to comment and you know your right but just my high school experience has completely gone to shit, im hoping that when I finally get out of this “best 4 years of my life” I can finally move on, and meet new people maybe travel the world a bit after college, I still will never believe in love I think but honestly I can live without because these 3 years of being alone the one thing it taught me is being independent and that’s probably the best attribute anyone can have, but it’d just be nice to talk to someone now and then instead of just being completely ignored it seems like but oh well. and honestly everyone here is dull they care about pointless things it’s basically land of the self centered from my point of view no one really cares anymore, but then again I care if someone texts me back or not. But there are still people I care about here I haven’t completely lost hope…yet but I have to quit drinking for my liver is starting to act up. but thank you you have officially made this new year a tad better I wish the best for you!
(Thanks for wishing the best for me, I really hadn’t expected that I could ever bring any slightly positive feeling to anyone 🙂 )
I’m glad to know that you’re gonna fix your liver 🙂 Many people don’t even try, but you’re a strong person 🙂 You’re gonna go far in life 🙂
I agree. Most people do seem to care more about completely useless things and most people are superficial. But the sad part is that intelligent and good people (like you and a couple of others) have to live with them on this planet…
I also wish the best of luck for you and I hope all your dreams come true 🙂 You seem to be a very cool person so I know you can achieve whatever you want to 🙂
hopefully it’s hard to be optimistic in a non optimistic world. very hard. but possible. and the slightest littlest things can change a persons attitude. thankyou!!
I agree 🙂
Thank you too 🙂
Hey, I’m in high school too, and life is tough. This much I know, and I will talk to you if you want.
email me: brl.cents@gmail.com
I’m in high school too and honestly I feel like I’ve had enough, just want to escape from everything. Everyone is lonely, that’s why we try to find others and want to be with people. But sometimes, everything feels super tiring and you just don’t want to actually DO things. Like it’s winter break right now and most of the time I feel like I’m wasting away at home doing useless things, just too much of a coward to suicide. I just think of getting through this whole thing and live my life differently when I’m in control of my future that comes after all the years in school… I hope you can try to survive through it too and if you want, I can be your friend .-.