My life basically ended a long time ago and I just kept dragging my breathing corpse through life….since i was 13 I’ve been dying every single second…..I cut,I cried,I hurt,I died & no one cared…I went on falling deeper & deeper in the slought of despair and my misery was getting worse….they thought it was all a bunch of balooney and that I was just being dramatic and making sick excuses to escape stuff….but I was not…I was really hurting inside….I was alone in my pain…..I cried at night almost to the point where it was literally imposible to cry any further…I slept on damp pillow every night but no one cared…I decided to leave many times but I was just too scared….A slash on my wrist wasn’t just a selfharm cut…It was actually a failed suicide attempt….I failed at everything….my grades went downhill & I flunked two subjects It came as a trauma because it was the first time in thirteen years that I had known the F score…..My parents were called in by the school but I never let them know….I’d rather die than bring them such a disgrace….I became an ultimate failure…I don’trember not failing….Failire fits me like a glove….failure & I are synonyms….It couldn’t have been worse…..Even God hates me & abandonned me….I was only 18 & still I felt so old and worn out….There’s one thing I wanna succeed at & that’s killing myself…It won’t be long before I commit suicide…I’m gonna call my friend coz I don’t know what else to do & finally I’ll be dead & dead & dead…
Goddbye World…Death is not a trial….LIFE is…
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Hi… It’s been a long time… almost a year. While it’s good to see you back, I’m sorry to see that things are still nerve-wracking. I really don’t think you’re the failure that you insist you are…. Nor do I think that God hates you. You have made it far for this long. Clearly, you have done some things right. If you’d like to talk about what’s been going on, feel free. Sometimes it helps.
Please, please, I wanna say goodbye to the world with you. No body understands me. I have to go, I have to go to a place that doesn’t have a destination point, and just walk and walk until I get to the place with no destination.
Thanks for your concern…there’s no turning back now…I’m just waiting to contact my friend & I have everything planned….I have the blade and the rope…It’s 8 in the morning,my brother has gone to school,I skipped it today ,Everyone elseis asleep…I’m just waiting to talk to my friend for the one last time ad say her a goodbye….There’s no room for any more pain now…I wanna end it all….I’m happy that I won’t be here a few hours latter…
I wish I had the courage to kill myself in a few hours. I would… but I’m a coward. 🙁
I might be too late but if you are still here, I know how you feel to some degree. I have depression and I have failed in school. But you need help, call a therapist please.
I finally called and talked to my friend for the very first time in five years…this is all I was waiting for & I have planned everything….its just a matter of time before I’d be burried in my grave…:’)