foreverisalongtime; That’s how I feel as well. I don’t to die because I am too scared of it, and I’m afraid it won’t be any better. But I don’t want to be alive so much either.. Shitty situation. Lose lose…
But guys that only I am asking why do u want to die..??
@distant road – don’t joke on this topic plz.
@ stendar’s ***** – If this is the only reason you want to die, then I guess you should not do any such Cz you are just 16 I guess and you have your whole life with you. What is your actual problem if you can then share with me.?
I’m neither 16 nor is that the real reason behind my desire to die haha. I hate myself and because of such I’ve committed actions which have placed me into a fixated position of perpetual failure and lifelong disappointment – on top of this irreparable self hatred.
I wrote a post some time ago “Sucks to Suck” It articulates the reasons why I hate myself in far more detail than I could ever iterate here. In short
1) I lack talent in every respect
2) I have no friends/ have the inability to connect with people/ am incredibly lonely
3) I have no future because of my failures
4) I’m very undesirable physically, mentally and emotionally
5) I’m weak, both emotionally and mentally.
6) My days are ceaselessly redundant
7) I fail at everything I do, no matter how much effort I invest into what I’m trying to achieve.
this “self-hate” thing is too vague. For you, is it more that you hate “who” you are, or “what” you are?
I could say i hate “what” i am, but not “who” i am. I like who i am; i just wish i was physically better (although i’m not saying i couldn’t use or would refuse mental improvements…). But then again, i think “hate” is far too strong a word for “what” i am. I actually don’t “hate what i am,” but rather, i hate my physical limitations, and that i am often harshly judged for what i cannot significantly improve. And the stuff i could improve, requires optimal conditions, motivation, and for the body and mind to work together toward that goal. There’s a lot of stuff impeding that process… and some fitness improvements will likely not produce sufficient changes for the end result to be significantly improved. So, i could try really hard for not much effect. Hard to produce motivation for that; even harder to sustain it indefinitely.
@ stendar’s ***** – you are saying that you hate you self Cz you are lonely, you have no friends, u lack talent and blah blah.. But how can you judge yourself. Let others judge you. I mean if you want then I can be your friend. I can be the one to take you out of your loneliness and whenever you feel then you can talk to me. Only If you want.
You have linguistic “talent.” I don’t remember if i actually posted it yet, but i keep meaning to tell you how you’re always impressing me with your vocabulary and way with words.
Maybe you don’t think that’s significant, but, you know, some people find that to be a respectable and appealing quality for a person to have.
You do have a future, even with your failures (whatever they are). That’s the funny thing about failure: you get to live with it. That’s one of the things people hate about failure. But failure is also required for learning certain things… along with a passionate determination to figure out what caused you to fail, fix it, and succeed. I realize this is difficult to maintain, and probably gets harder the longer you do it. Take a break sometimes. Let yourself recover, and come back fresh and blast through it.
I have a hard time believing you are “very undesirable physically,” or intellectually. But, “there’s no accounting for taste.” Not everyone is going to like you. I think the best you can do is try to be the best and most of who you are and want to be, and hope to find people who like “the real you.”
You’ll probably get stronger, in many ways, as your life experience increases. It’s kinda like how muscles build; you have to tear them in a controlled manner, let them heal, and keep repeating the process. Eventually, you’re buff and strong as shit, and people are like “oooh!”
There is something to be said for predictive capacity, foresight, and experience. Try to work on accurately assessing whether efforts applied to any circumstance, will be likely to achieve a desired result. You won’t always be right about that, but it’s good to know when it’s impossible for your efforts to make a wanted change. Avoid those. If it’s “reasonably plausible” that you could achieve a desired result, then… “anything worth doing, is worth overdoing.” (stole that quote from a recent movie preview… because i agreed with it, not because of anything about the film itself)
WO WO..don’t fight guys. Its not the time to fight. You should look forward to deal this thing with patience not with arguments. So be calm and give suggestions instead.
@SB – I would still say that think a lot before you come to any decision Cz life once gone is not gonna come back again. And if you need anyone to discuss about anything then feel free to write me. 🙂
27 comments
Because I never made it onto the show 16 & Pregnant, my childhood dreams are ruined 🙁
I didn’t win the Lottery so I wasn’t able to travel the world and visit exotic places like Antarctica. 😉
I’m never good enough to anyone, unwanted, I have a depression disorder anyway, so why not?
haha, I’m really sad
I don’t really want to die. I just don’t want to live.
foreverisalongtime; That’s how I feel as well. I don’t to die because I am too scared of it, and I’m afraid it won’t be any better. But I don’t want to be alive so much either.. Shitty situation. Lose lose…
foreverisalongtime’s words ring true for me…
But guys that only I am asking why do u want to die..??
@distant road – don’t joke on this topic plz.
@ stendar’s ***** – If this is the only reason you want to die, then I guess you should not do any such Cz you are just 16 I guess and you have your whole life with you. What is your actual problem if you can then share with me.?
I’m neither 16 nor is that the real reason behind my desire to die haha. I hate myself and because of such I’ve committed actions which have placed me into a fixated position of perpetual failure and lifelong disappointment – on top of this irreparable self hatred.
@ standar’s *****- But why do you hate yourself? There might be some reason.. I guess..??
I wrote a post some time ago “Sucks to Suck” It articulates the reasons why I hate myself in far more detail than I could ever iterate here. In short
1) I lack talent in every respect
2) I have no friends/ have the inability to connect with people/ am incredibly lonely
3) I have no future because of my failures
4) I’m very undesirable physically, mentally and emotionally
5) I’m weak, both emotionally and mentally.
6) My days are ceaselessly redundant
7) I fail at everything I do, no matter how much effort I invest into what I’m trying to achieve.
@SB:
this “self-hate” thing is too vague. For you, is it more that you hate “who” you are, or “what” you are?
I could say i hate “what” i am, but not “who” i am. I like who i am; i just wish i was physically better (although i’m not saying i couldn’t use or would refuse mental improvements…). But then again, i think “hate” is far too strong a word for “what” i am. I actually don’t “hate what i am,” but rather, i hate my physical limitations, and that i am often harshly judged for what i cannot significantly improve. And the stuff i could improve, requires optimal conditions, motivation, and for the body and mind to work together toward that goal. There’s a lot of stuff impeding that process… and some fitness improvements will likely not produce sufficient changes for the end result to be significantly improved. So, i could try really hard for not much effect. Hard to produce motivation for that; even harder to sustain it indefinitely.
@CN
I hate the characteristics that define me, both the tangible and intangible.
@ stendar’s ***** – you are saying that you hate you self Cz you are lonely, you have no friends, u lack talent and blah blah.. But how can you judge yourself. Let others judge you. I mean if you want then I can be your friend. I can be the one to take you out of your loneliness and whenever you feel then you can talk to me. Only If you want.
@SB:
You have linguistic “talent.” I don’t remember if i actually posted it yet, but i keep meaning to tell you how you’re always impressing me with your vocabulary and way with words.
Maybe you don’t think that’s significant, but, you know, some people find that to be a respectable and appealing quality for a person to have.
You do have a future, even with your failures (whatever they are). That’s the funny thing about failure: you get to live with it. That’s one of the things people hate about failure. But failure is also required for learning certain things… along with a passionate determination to figure out what caused you to fail, fix it, and succeed. I realize this is difficult to maintain, and probably gets harder the longer you do it. Take a break sometimes. Let yourself recover, and come back fresh and blast through it.
I have a hard time believing you are “very undesirable physically,” or intellectually. But, “there’s no accounting for taste.” Not everyone is going to like you. I think the best you can do is try to be the best and most of who you are and want to be, and hope to find people who like “the real you.”
You’ll probably get stronger, in many ways, as your life experience increases. It’s kinda like how muscles build; you have to tear them in a controlled manner, let them heal, and keep repeating the process. Eventually, you’re buff and strong as shit, and people are like “oooh!”
There is something to be said for predictive capacity, foresight, and experience. Try to work on accurately assessing whether efforts applied to any circumstance, will be likely to achieve a desired result. You won’t always be right about that, but it’s good to know when it’s impossible for your efforts to make a wanted change. Avoid those. If it’s “reasonably plausible” that you could achieve a desired result, then… “anything worth doing, is worth overdoing.” (stole that quote from a recent movie preview… because i agreed with it, not because of anything about the film itself)
so cute!
But incompatible personality. And location.
I think that’s all i want to say here.
@cDL – what do you actually want to say?
@CDL: lol.
I didn’t want to interrupt your chat with cute Czech girl… or start a war in her thread.
(also, i forgot “age gap.” I should have mentioned that too, but forgot before i posted.)
@clevername:
I didn’t want to interrupt your chat with cute ‘s girl… or start a war in her thread.
(also, i forgot “age gap.†I should have mentioned that too, but forgot before i posted.)
(insert Stendarr’s ***** nationality)
My nationality is *****
@CN
Thank you, really, I appreciate your words and take them to heart
WO WO..don’t fight guys. Its not the time to fight. You should look forward to deal this thing with patience not with arguments. So be calm and give suggestions instead.
Sry, didn’t mean to insult you, it should be (Stendarr *****)’s.
@SB – I would still say that think a lot before you come to any decision Cz life once gone is not gonna come back again. And if you need anyone to discuss about anything then feel free to write me. 🙂
CDL: lol…
I’m not even mad. Are you?
@SB:
🙂
I AM NOT MAD §/($&!)(“$/§