My first love just told me she needed a break. She said I put so much in this relationship, and she felt like she can’t do the same. She says she doesn’t know if she can commit right now. I told her I didn’t need her to, that I want her the way she is. But still, she decided on a break of “a few days at least.” I’m livid, and have already thoroughly thought about suicide. This is tearing me apart, I can’t deal with this. I’m angry, and I don’t know if it’s because of the break, or if I’m angry at her for doing this to me. I want to cry so bad but I can’t. I’m comfused, and would rather killl myself than sit through this.
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Hi vincent, I’m sorry to hear about the breakup. This will be a hard time for you but you will learn from it and you will grow stronger every day. It’s sounds cliché but it’s true. I know what it feels like, you love them and you hate them. You can’t even decide. So much emotions are going through your head but buddy, this isn’t the end. Don’t you believe that for one second. Try to live day by day. Who knows, you might wake up some morning and feel that you have fought this and survived it. If she can’t put energy into the relationship, she isn’t worth it and you deserve better
Feel lucky she told you instead of fucking you one day and having the best day ever all over Facebook with her ex 4 days later. Its taken about a year but I’m finally over my ex. It still hurts but not every day anymore. I thought I loved her. I was going to tell her that on the super valentines day date I was planning. Then I had to read her new relationship status on facebook. She said she was “confused”. She dodged my calls for 3 days before while still leading me on like we were on for a date I was planning. It hurts to think while I was concerned about her being “sick” she was lying and cheating with her ex. In fact probably the entire time we dated. The first girl I’ve ever really been interested in and she ripped my heart out. Good luck. At least your girl respected you enough to tell you. You’ll get over it. I know how you feel. I was committed she said she was…she wasn’t. She was just a cheating whore. Do what I did. Go out in the woods and smoke some weed till you can’t hold your lighter. You will stop crying yourself to sleep eventually. Get back out there!
vincen_t, i agree with the above comments, she at least was honest with you. She isn’t stringing you along. Yes, it sucks. But it is not worthy of suicidal thoughts. Love her enough to let her go. This will be beneficial to both of you. Take from this relationship the positives. The great days you two shared. Use these great experiences as a baseline for your next relationship. You don’t have to only have love for one person in your life. We all have needs that change as we work our way down the road, and sometimes the paths branch apart. The world needs more love, not individuals killing themselves when they have loved and were hurt. Continue to find love.
I know you are going through a lot of pain right now, which is making you think crazy thoughts. Have you ever though that maybe this break would be most beneficial for you to fix what ever is troubling you? As hard as it’s going to be, you need to move on without her.
There are people in this world who have never experienced true love, so I would consider yourself lucky to have experienced that in your life. Some people(like myself), are destined to live a life of loneliness and misery. You are not one of those people! MOVE ON! MOVE ALONG!
Fatuglyguy, don’t degrade yourself. I’m sure you will find love, you only have to believe it.
The fact that you are suicidal about a break in the relationship is exactly the type of thing she senses about you that makes her want space in the first place – being way too into this relationship and making it your whole life and reason to live. It seems like thats what girls want in fantasy stories about love but in real life girls dont like sensing that they are the biggest thing going on in your life. They want you to be a man doing other things with your life and sharing it with you.
You have one chance to do damage control if she isn’t already planning to fully break up, and you better get it right. Do not whine or complain or get sappy and send her flowers or bother her with texts and calls during this break. Show her you can stand alone and act like you agree that you needed some time apart to focus on other things. I guarantee you will scare her away if you think this is like a movie and you try to “win her back”. She waa brave enough to confront you and explain exactly what she would like – space. Not flowers or more contact from you. Want to make a girl happy? Listen to what she wants. Show her youre a man and find other things to do for a few days. She will grow curious and come back around, unless she is already out of love with you.
@endless:
In other words: they rarely want what they say they want.
actually, that’s not quite accurate, and was a bit of a “knee-jerk” response from personal bias.
It’s more like “they rarely want what they say they want, as much as they seem to want it.”
“Space” usually means exactly what it implies: away from you. It probably means it’s already over. It probably doesn’t mean she doesn’t care… but probably does mean that she doesn’t want to care, and thinks that “space” will allow her to dissolve her own feelings, while preparing you both for the real break up.
“Space” usually means either there is already someone else, or that she wants there to be someone else… and for someone else to be there, instead of you. But it could also mean that she’s just overwhelmed and confused, and wants to “make her own decision” without your presence influencing her. But hey, we can all see where that train leads, right? When someone wants to decide something without your input or influence, it’s pretty likely to be a decision you won’t like. And if that decision can be made without you nearby, then the decider doesn’t have to worry about the risk of your hurt feelings escalating into a scary situation, possibly involving violence and/or destruction.
You might as well just accept that you probably don’t actually have what you thought you had, and that you might have to endure some emotional agony for a while, and then try to meet someone else. The best thing you can do is try to take care of yourself, and don’t let yourself fall too far. The farther you fall, the longer you stay down, the harder it will be to get up and get back to living.
Thats just it, she is your first love, why you feel it a lot.
Give her the space. First loves rarely last anyway.
Don’t kill yourself over this.