I dont know anymore….

I just dont know anymore….. I am 29 years old and  10 years ago I thought I had my entire life mapped out. I started getting into debt, I met my husband who was illegal at the time, my family has disowned me because of him and I live in a tiny basment paying out of my ass for a place that looks and feels like a dungeon. My husband verbally abuses me, he has no job, I was layed off about a year ago but finally found a job that doesnt pay me crap. My husband says hes looking for a job but hasnt had one in over a year. I have no children, even tho my husband told me to my face that he does not see himself having kids with me. I have debt collecters now calling my job, my cell phone and my house. I have no money in my bank account. Can barely afford gas to get to work. I had to sell all my jewlery just to get money for food. My husband spends time away from home now.. at his “cousins house” as he says. But funny enough, when I call he doesnt answer cuz he ” didnt hear it” So to wrap it all up, i have no money,no food,no gas,no family,and now no husband. A person who sayed he would always have my back, I could always lean on him. Well, even if I were to leave him… where would I go? I got nothing else to live for. Nothing. Here I am at 2am googling how to slit my own wrist. Wow, what I life I have, I never planned this. Never. All I ever wanted, all I ever asked, all I ever prayed for…. was to be happy.. and now…. I just dont know anymore.