That’s the deepest I’ve ever cut. I just love to sit and lap up the blood with my toungue. God, I’m so deranged. I tried listening to music. It hurt. I tried silence. It hurt. I tried reading a book. It hurt. I called a friend. It hurt. I masturbated. I just cried harder. Now I wish that the pain from the knife were helping the way it used to. It’s like heroin: worse and worse for me as I try harder and harder to feel as good as I did that first time. I don’t have any dreams any more. That’s really the worst part.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
28 comments
I burn and cut myself. And no matter how deep I cut, or how hard I press the iron to my skin, the emotional pain won’t go away. I just want the relief I got when I first started…. But now I just have eXcrutiating emotional and physical pain. I just want it all the stop. For good.
I just wish I knew how to be brave enough to die. I’m such a chicken shit.
I’m just waiting for the right moment to do it. I’m scared for the pain of killing myself, but the relief will be so amazing.
Honestly.. Being drunk gives you all the courage you need to do it. It did for me.
@lex – when I do hang myself, I’m going to down a bottle of vodka.
Well that’s my favourite drink<3. Also, is there any other method, just in case, like say, jumping off a cliff or something? That way would ensure a painless and fast death.
I’m going to either kill myself by cutting a vein, or jumping off a cruise ship this summer when I go on a cruise. Or I could jump in front of a semi on the highway.
I always think about wether or not I should bring people down with me, you know, like a shoot out. I would love to do that, but who am I to say if they should die? Especially when I’m the only one who wants to die.
Jumping infront of a semi on the highway, could cause a car crash and kill some other people.
I feel like it’s not fair that I was chosen to live such a terrible life. Why me? Why not someone else?
And in that case, I’ll probably just jump off a cruise ship. No one will even notice I’m gone.
I know the feeling. The feeling that your life feels like it was just made to be like this. Anytime you even feel a single shread of happiness, sadness and depression come right at you. Everyone else seems like their life is just fucking amazing. And you wonder: “Where’s my happiness? When is it my turn? When?”
….atleast that’s how I feel =/
No matter what, someone is going to notice sooner or later. We have days/months/years advanced notice prior to.
That’s exactly it. How can people live such great lives, when I’m stuck feeling like this? And every single time I feel the least but happy, something ALWAYS ruins it for me. Why can’t I just be happy? Why can’t I just be normal? That’s all I want!
that sounds just amazing. i love gothic girls and i love gothic girls drinking blood even more… Do you want to show me your cuts? I’ll show you mine first…just give me your email adress or create a new email account if you don’t want your real email to be public, that’s what I do. My mail is rocky1990b @yahoo . de
I guess you just have to treat it like any drug don’t do it regularily and do it every once in a while but properly. Save up until the time is right and apply honey to your wounds that’ll speed up the healing process and prevent scarring apparently.
As you commented on the anniversary of my Dad’s death, I suppose I’d consider it a sign. My emai is chytrauk@onid.orst.edu. Anyone here is free to send me things. We’re all friends, right? I’m doing okay right now. Having a sad day, but I’m refraining from cutting. Spent tonight with the stupid boy who broke my heart telling me all about how he’s taking this new floozy he’s into to the same place he took me. I wonder if he even remembers. Anyway, I’m not cutting tonight, just watching a really bloody anime. Anyway, Rocky, I’d be into emailing. Send me something interesting, and thanks for the tips.
@dyingtoknow,
that’s exactly the way I feel.
Every time I feel myself centered in hope…my heart later on the same day is just crushed to powder dust.
I don’t understand why noone here considers drinking til acute alcohol intoxication. Just find yourself a nice desolate place in the woods or wherever and rapidly down 2-3 bottles of vodka. The blood alcohol level should easily spike far over 0,5 at whichi point, it is said the lethal rate is at 50%. And If the chances aren’t high enough you could just put a plastic bag over your head and seal airtight at the neck in the moment you pass out.
There’s nothing better than jumping in my opinion but you need a real high place because even falls from buildings don’t always end up lethal and it must be a location where there are no people that could try to rescue you.
I’ve had too many bad expiriences with vodka, and the chances of me puking the stuff up are higher than the chances of me finishing the bottles. I can’t hold liquor for shit.
“I feel like it’s not fair that I was chosen to live such a terrible life. Why me? Why not someone else?
And in that case, I’ll probably just jump off a cruise ship. No one will even notice I’m gone.”
@dyingtoknow
I’m sorry, but that is not true, now that you have said that, I won’t be able to stop thinking about it, I was on here the other night reading all these post. and I started to cry, I can’t sit here and read this stuff any longer, it’s that lump in my throat, that pain in my chest, I read your post, and what happen to you, and to you, and anyone who wants to talk to me, e-mail me at ovafaze_14@yahoo.com. I..just want to help..
please don’t do it, I know I may be just a random stranger, but I can honestly say without a doubt, that I care, doesn’t matter who you are.
I agree @amofaze – it’s really heartbreaking to hear that so many people are feeling this way. My friends – death will not bring you the relief you need. On the one hand, if you don’t believe in life after death, you will not feel ANYTHING, nevermind relief. And on the other hand, if you do, how do you know what awaits you on the other side?
I don’t want to sound like a crazy religious fanatic or anything in case any of you have had bad experiences with judgmental Christians. But I’ve wanted to kill myself before. But my relationship with God saved me. I realized he loved me just as I am, and he wants to give me a life that – yes, has struggles – but that will help me grow in love and peace. And I know that he loves each of you and he created you with beautiful aspects all your own. I really want all of you to consider looking into a relationship with Jesus – just giving it a go – what do you really have to lose? And if He’s real, what do you risk losing if you ignore Him?
http://www.knowgodpersonally.org/
BUT even if you don’t want to talk religion or anything, I’d like to be a friend to you. Just someone to rant to on the Internet. Someone to distract you when you’re feeling down. I don’t care. Please e-mail me or AIM me if you want to. OK?
carin@uoguelph.ca on MSN or
yoursemaphore on AIM
Much love.
Carin
The sad part is I’ve been a Christian for 4 years. God has helped me through a lot of stuff, and continues to be my rock. However, I am sick. He doesn’t seem to want to help me with that. (I’ve been to many specialists, even stayed in a psych ward for several weeks). I’m hoping that if I do die at my own hands, that He will cradle me and tell me it’s okay, that I don’t have to hurt anymore, the way my Daddy did before God took him home.
you had such a terrible life but you’re strong enough and independent enough to be your own boss now and to make/change your life exactly how you want it. It’s a challenge but you can do it! and don’t kill yourself, there are people around you who really love you and can’t be without you. try to live happy with them, try to talk to one of them who you trust so he/she can help you.
ive tried so many time so kill myself and the most recent time i was so close to doing it to. i tried to hang myself last time i did it. i got to a point where i could feel my brain loosing air. i don’t know why i stopped. every night and every day i think about doing it. thats all i think about now. im depressed and last year i tried to do it to. my parents found out and were like “don’t do it, you have a lot to live for” and all that shit. i just wanted to say shut the fuck up, you don’t know how i fucking feel. like i just want to do it and actually do it this time. im waiting till my parents are out of the house and my brother to. i hate everybody here and i don’t see any reason for me being here. nobody seems to care.
You idiots life is precious do you know how many kids have cancer and pray just to live one more day and you treat life like its a toy
Because calling suicide cases idiots will totally make us want to pull through.
nba is a bible thumping racist troll – please disregard anything he says because if you don’t subscribe to his “view” of the world he’ll just tell you to jump … but I’m sure he means it in a “christian’ way :/
truth dawg
@dawg i never said anything about subscribing to my point of view.so maybe you should think before opening your mouth
Just because the moderators trashed your post doesn’t mean your past comments/views magically disappeared … and disrespecting people by calling them “idiots” doesn’t exactly “prove” me wrong now does it?
afro dawg
@dawg ok their not being idiots theyre being unwise
How can you say that unwise? You carnt possibly know unless your ever in that position, its the lonelyest place on earth to be, im sure all the people on here have tried and considerd all other options already. Its not easy to get to this place and it doesnt happen over night. Anyone who wants to condem poeple or trolls should just get lost go bother someone else. The people on here, like myself are in despair, and helping each other out!