Hello my name is Annabelle.
I want to die so bad.
SO bad.
I’ve given up.
Honestly, I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone dies and thought “why wait?”
I got told by the only person who loves me and who I love that they don’t trust me.
So why wait?
I told everyone I even remotely care about goodbye and told them what I want them to have.
So basically
I’ve given up all hope.
I’m broken and at this point nothing can fix me.
I called the suicide hotline.
Me and the person talked.
It didn’t work.
I still feel as shitty as before, even more so maybe.
I betrayed the one I love and I can never forgive myself for that.
And this guilt is a weight on my shoulders.
I feel like and empty shell.
I feel like I don’t deserve this life.
I feel like I’m dead already.
I feel like I’ma  monster.
I feel like I’m not human.
I feel like I can’t be trusted.
I feel like if I bleed, if I even do.
It won’t even be fucking crimson.
It’ll be fucking green or black or some shit.
My body  is so covered in scars that I can never get away from
and in the end.
I want to die.
because in the end,
everything ends up the same.
2 comments
You are not a monster and you are not a crazy person. You are a sane rational person who has come to the conclusion that most sane people come to. that life sucks and then you die and its difficult to deal with that fact.
I hope you find a way through your problems
this is not an easy time in history to be alive in the world.
lots of weird and scary things going on in the world and its getting harder and harder for people to get buy and have a life worth living.
I hope you find peace and happiness
This is exactly how I feel, all of the time. I’m so sorry that you feel this way. Don’t give up. Stay strong.