When you get there they’ll make you drink charcoal, stuff a tube down your troat. They had to do it twice to my friend. Then a psychologist comes in and you talk about why you overdosed, blabla. After that, they might let you come home and you have to shit little balls of charcoal for like two weeks. After her pumping, she developped an intolerance for lactose and she couldn’t eat anything spicy because her stomach was all fucked up. Not a cool experience, if you ask me.
I have to add to this, it’s likely you’ll be vomiting blood along with the charcoal (due to the damage done because of LOTS of vomiting) and you’ll get to a point where you practicly vomit air (not a nice feeling for your stomach). The tube down your throat is not nice either (they keep it for quite a while to feed you charcoal) and it WILL damage your throat.
All of the above and if they find out you have a psychiatric history you wont be able to leave, they will keep you in the pysch ward until you speak to 2 different psychiatrists and are evaluated to leave or get further treatment.
@Shaynax: I have some questions. What if you are not financially eligible to support a psychiatrists and a stay in a psych ward? Surely they won’t keep you then? 2) How long before you can check yourself out if they decided to keep you in a Psychiatric hospital? Thanks!
@Allshallend: Keep in mind this is from my experience, so yours might be different if you end up on the same boat.
The tube they get into you for your stomach pumping goes through your mouth, the one that feeds you charcoal goes through your nose (at least that’s what happened in my case, nasogastric intubation, look it up on google).
The damage comes from the constant vomiting and the tube rubbing against your throat and making you gag. I remember being sore for weeks and i still feel some discomfort from time to time. Also, the tube that goes through your nose has a real weird connector, which can cause further rubbing/injuries. I really don’t remember how they got it into me but now that i think about it it’s no wonder that i ended up vomiting charcoal+blood.
If you ask me? make sure it is what you want, and that you can (and want) to get it done without failure. Because even if i got no major damage from it (or at least it looks that way) i can feel a lot of wear down in my body overall and it’s already been 6 months since it happened, so i’d say it’s permanent by now.
@M: That IS not joking at all! I mean, I can picture the pain already from the tubing and vomiting you say.
I have to ask you. If you have given an another chance to go back, would you still do it at all? Was it a valuable experience for you even it hurt you tremendously even to this day you still have pain and side effects from it? How long was it until you fully recovered from it?
Sorry if I’m being hyper-curious and bugging you about it. I know it might brings back bad memories. I only wish to know more about how you truly feel about that. And I’m truly sorry for what happened to you. (Not trying to be pity or bringing any other negatives feelings/thoughts). Thank you.
@Allshallend: No problem, actually the bad memories are more related to the situation that led me into that place (and that are still with me everyday), so just ask what you want. And don’t worry, i don’t see it as pity, in your place i’d be asking questions too, wish i knew about SP back then, haha.
Take this with a mountain of salt, and i mean it. There is two sides to the situation so i’ll start with the good one first. Once that happened, and while i was there, i could feel the physical pain most of the time, but the emotional pain was mostly gone. Sure, i felt awful for my family, but it was as if part of me felt i was paying for my mistakes and it felt liberating yet confusing at the same time. Talking with people with worse situations than yours and getting other points of view gives you another perspective too, same as receiving kindness from people you don’t even know. Heck, i was eating noodles with my cellphone back cover and a lady i didn’t even know offered me a fork and i felt like the luckiest guy alive. And those noodles were the greatest i’ve ever eaten (after 4 days without eating everything is).
But then is the bad part. Despite all the caring and worrying from people there, and the relief the physical hurt brings, it can or cannot be a life changing experience. I’d say for me it was for a while, and it took some emotional baggage out of me, but if the situation that got you there continues and you can’t do anything about it, it’s not any better than cutting yourself. For me, failing, was a temporary solution for a permanent problem. I have to point out tho, i was serious, and i did intend to succeed, but i was found. So that’s why i say, you have to be really sure if you want to succeed or not, and if not, keep in mind that your family is going to suffer a whole lot just for an attempt of liberation on your part. That’s the other bad part, your family will suffer with it wether you fail or succeed. In that sense i’d recommend look into therapy of any sort if you haven’t already.
As for recovery time, as i said i don’t feel like i ever recovered completely, but it took something like a month for me to feel “normal”, but that depends mostly on the person and his condition. My low weight atm influenced a lot too.
@M: I just want to hug you. I mean, I totally empathize the emotional trauma after that experience. Especially the part that the suffering will bring to your family, which I suffer from that every single day. I might not know how much pain bought to you physically, but I think we can all relate to the trauma that brings you afterwards.
You were ready to end it all but instead you were found, knowing that you have to continue the pain of being alive when you were already about to flush it all. Sure, the physical pain might distracts you a tiny bit from your mind and emotional suffering. But eventually your mind will be the biggest victim of it all. After all, that’s where all the suicidal thoughts are coming from. Our minds drove us to it, not the body.
I’m truly sorry all the pain that bought to you, and I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do about it but a sorry is what I can give.
When I’ve the resource to kill myself (Which will be very soon) I’ll do everything I can to make sure that I would not survive afterwards. So that no one will suffer from it.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. I know it’s hard. And I hope the side effects that you’ve got will end too, have you checked about your physical pain conditions? I remember you said your throat still hurts from time to time. And what about the low weight? Were your internal organs damaged after still? From the vomiting and blood?
Are all of you who replied to this post in USA? I am asking as here in UK when I overdosed I didn’t get to drink any charcoal as it was longer than 45 minutes since I had taken the tablets. Also I never experienced any vomiting whatsoever either as I took the tablets in stages rather than all at once to prevent being sick, which worked. Here in UK after paramedics take you to the Emergency Department, while you are in ED they hook you to a machine which measures heartbeat, pulse, breathing and blood pressure and they had also done an ECG on doctor’s order to check my heart and then they wait for 4 hours since the time of the overdose to do a blood test to determine if an antidote is needed. As I had high level of paracetamol in my blood and never vomited, I was given an antidote in a form of drip to flush it out of my system and to save my liver. The antidote is all together 3 drip bags and it all lasts for 21 hours all together, first drip bag is the strongest one and is for an hour (that made me actually sick so they gave me something against nausea intravenously), then second drip bag lasts for 4 hours and the last drip bag I had was for 16 hours. And during this time I was connected to a machine which constantly measures breathing, heartbeat, pulse and blood pressure and also had ECG done to check if my heart is ok as when they first brought me in, I remember that I was hardly breathing and the machine I was connected to kept making the emergency noise and flushing red light. I also remember hearing doctor talking about me and telling nurse that I was strangely calm considering how high level of it I had in my blood. I laid there no and again drawing breath in and feeling very peaceful and thinking that I will either die now are they will save me. It was actually really nice to feel so peaceful for a bit. I miss that feeling of being in peace with everything, it is kind of a calmness before the end which I felt. I would give anything to get that sense of peace again or not having to feel anything at all for a while and have a break from all the pain.
@lifehaslostismeaning: The antidote and procedures depends on what you tried to overdose on and where you were treated. Most likely you weren’t given charcoal because of that. I was taken to the hospital several hours later (i’d say about 4-6, can’t quite remember) and i also overdosed on paracetamol since i figured i wouldn’t be found within 12 hours which was the needed time for the lethal damage to occur. I also felt that “calmness” you mention, a nurse told me it was because the oxygen levels depletes (because of the OD) and your body tries to compensate to protect your vital organs. I sure wish i would have been able to take that drip antidote instead of vomiting for hours tho haha.
@DeathGreeter: Sorry for the delay in answering but the SP layout changes made it difficult to see the posts, but hey, hug accepted 🙂 and thanks for the good spirited comments, they are really apreciated.
And yes, in the end it’s our minds which force us into this state, you can distract from it but if the conditions that got you there can’t change… yeah, there’s no way out of it i’m afraid.
I don’t think you can avoid people suffering for you tho, even if you succeed. You can ease the suffering but they will suffer anyway. I procured a sure method (same as you did i’m guessing), but the only thing keeping me from using it is not hurting someone. That person won’t live that long (maybe 5 more years, 10 tops) so i’m debating holding it out until then. No idea if i’ll be able tho.
Some side effects will never go away i’m afraid but i have to admit i got lucky, since i mostly got wear out more than damage (eating healthy really helped me there) so i can live with it. I wish you for the best as well, hope you find the peace you are looking either in life or death, and again, thanks for the good wishes 🙂
14 comments
they’re going to pump your stomach and make you drink charcoal, I hear it tastes worse than shit. overdosing isn’t worth killing your liver over
When you get there they’ll make you drink charcoal, stuff a tube down your troat. They had to do it twice to my friend. Then a psychologist comes in and you talk about why you overdosed, blabla. After that, they might let you come home and you have to shit little balls of charcoal for like two weeks. After her pumping, she developped an intolerance for lactose and she couldn’t eat anything spicy because her stomach was all fucked up. Not a cool experience, if you ask me.
I have to add to this, it’s likely you’ll be vomiting blood along with the charcoal (due to the damage done because of LOTS of vomiting) and you’ll get to a point where you practicly vomit air (not a nice feeling for your stomach). The tube down your throat is not nice either (they keep it for quite a while to feed you charcoal) and it WILL damage your throat.
All of the above and if they find out you have a psychiatric history you wont be able to leave, they will keep you in the pysch ward until you speak to 2 different psychiatrists and are evaluated to leave or get further treatment.
That sounds really awful! I have to ask, how will it damage your throat? In what way? Thanks. (I might try od so I want to know more)
@Shaynax: I have some questions. What if you are not financially eligible to support a psychiatrists and a stay in a psych ward? Surely they won’t keep you then? 2) How long before you can check yourself out if they decided to keep you in a Psychiatric hospital? Thanks!
@Allshallend: Keep in mind this is from my experience, so yours might be different if you end up on the same boat.
The tube they get into you for your stomach pumping goes through your mouth, the one that feeds you charcoal goes through your nose (at least that’s what happened in my case, nasogastric intubation, look it up on google).
The damage comes from the constant vomiting and the tube rubbing against your throat and making you gag. I remember being sore for weeks and i still feel some discomfort from time to time. Also, the tube that goes through your nose has a real weird connector, which can cause further rubbing/injuries. I really don’t remember how they got it into me but now that i think about it it’s no wonder that i ended up vomiting charcoal+blood.
If you ask me? make sure it is what you want, and that you can (and want) to get it done without failure. Because even if i got no major damage from it (or at least it looks that way) i can feel a lot of wear down in my body overall and it’s already been 6 months since it happened, so i’d say it’s permanent by now.
@M: That IS not joking at all! I mean, I can picture the pain already from the tubing and vomiting you say.
I have to ask you. If you have given an another chance to go back, would you still do it at all? Was it a valuable experience for you even it hurt you tremendously even to this day you still have pain and side effects from it? How long was it until you fully recovered from it?
Sorry if I’m being hyper-curious and bugging you about it. I know it might brings back bad memories. I only wish to know more about how you truly feel about that. And I’m truly sorry for what happened to you. (Not trying to be pity or bringing any other negatives feelings/thoughts). Thank you.
@Allshallend: No problem, actually the bad memories are more related to the situation that led me into that place (and that are still with me everyday), so just ask what you want. And don’t worry, i don’t see it as pity, in your place i’d be asking questions too, wish i knew about SP back then, haha.
Take this with a mountain of salt, and i mean it. There is two sides to the situation so i’ll start with the good one first. Once that happened, and while i was there, i could feel the physical pain most of the time, but the emotional pain was mostly gone. Sure, i felt awful for my family, but it was as if part of me felt i was paying for my mistakes and it felt liberating yet confusing at the same time. Talking with people with worse situations than yours and getting other points of view gives you another perspective too, same as receiving kindness from people you don’t even know. Heck, i was eating noodles with my cellphone back cover and a lady i didn’t even know offered me a fork and i felt like the luckiest guy alive. And those noodles were the greatest i’ve ever eaten (after 4 days without eating everything is).
But then is the bad part. Despite all the caring and worrying from people there, and the relief the physical hurt brings, it can or cannot be a life changing experience. I’d say for me it was for a while, and it took some emotional baggage out of me, but if the situation that got you there continues and you can’t do anything about it, it’s not any better than cutting yourself. For me, failing, was a temporary solution for a permanent problem. I have to point out tho, i was serious, and i did intend to succeed, but i was found. So that’s why i say, you have to be really sure if you want to succeed or not, and if not, keep in mind that your family is going to suffer a whole lot just for an attempt of liberation on your part. That’s the other bad part, your family will suffer with it wether you fail or succeed. In that sense i’d recommend look into therapy of any sort if you haven’t already.
As for recovery time, as i said i don’t feel like i ever recovered completely, but it took something like a month for me to feel “normal”, but that depends mostly on the person and his condition. My low weight atm influenced a lot too.
@M: I just want to hug you. I mean, I totally empathize the emotional trauma after that experience. Especially the part that the suffering will bring to your family, which I suffer from that every single day. I might not know how much pain bought to you physically, but I think we can all relate to the trauma that brings you afterwards.
You were ready to end it all but instead you were found, knowing that you have to continue the pain of being alive when you were already about to flush it all. Sure, the physical pain might distracts you a tiny bit from your mind and emotional suffering. But eventually your mind will be the biggest victim of it all. After all, that’s where all the suicidal thoughts are coming from. Our minds drove us to it, not the body.
I’m truly sorry all the pain that bought to you, and I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do about it but a sorry is what I can give.
When I’ve the resource to kill myself (Which will be very soon) I’ll do everything I can to make sure that I would not survive afterwards. So that no one will suffer from it.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. I know it’s hard. And I hope the side effects that you’ve got will end too, have you checked about your physical pain conditions? I remember you said your throat still hurts from time to time. And what about the low weight? Were your internal organs damaged after still? From the vomiting and blood?
I hope everything goes well for you, my friend. 🙂
Are all of you who replied to this post in USA? I am asking as here in UK when I overdosed I didn’t get to drink any charcoal as it was longer than 45 minutes since I had taken the tablets. Also I never experienced any vomiting whatsoever either as I took the tablets in stages rather than all at once to prevent being sick, which worked. Here in UK after paramedics take you to the Emergency Department, while you are in ED they hook you to a machine which measures heartbeat, pulse, breathing and blood pressure and they had also done an ECG on doctor’s order to check my heart and then they wait for 4 hours since the time of the overdose to do a blood test to determine if an antidote is needed. As I had high level of paracetamol in my blood and never vomited, I was given an antidote in a form of drip to flush it out of my system and to save my liver. The antidote is all together 3 drip bags and it all lasts for 21 hours all together, first drip bag is the strongest one and is for an hour (that made me actually sick so they gave me something against nausea intravenously), then second drip bag lasts for 4 hours and the last drip bag I had was for 16 hours. And during this time I was connected to a machine which constantly measures breathing, heartbeat, pulse and blood pressure and also had ECG done to check if my heart is ok as when they first brought me in, I remember that I was hardly breathing and the machine I was connected to kept making the emergency noise and flushing red light. I also remember hearing doctor talking about me and telling nurse that I was strangely calm considering how high level of it I had in my blood. I laid there no and again drawing breath in and feeling very peaceful and thinking that I will either die now are they will save me. It was actually really nice to feel so peaceful for a bit. I miss that feeling of being in peace with everything, it is kind of a calmness before the end which I felt. I would give anything to get that sense of peace again or not having to feel anything at all for a while and have a break from all the pain.
@lifehaslostismeaning: The antidote and procedures depends on what you tried to overdose on and where you were treated. Most likely you weren’t given charcoal because of that. I was taken to the hospital several hours later (i’d say about 4-6, can’t quite remember) and i also overdosed on paracetamol since i figured i wouldn’t be found within 12 hours which was the needed time for the lethal damage to occur. I also felt that “calmness” you mention, a nurse told me it was because the oxygen levels depletes (because of the OD) and your body tries to compensate to protect your vital organs. I sure wish i would have been able to take that drip antidote instead of vomiting for hours tho haha.
I’m from Canada 🙂
@DeathGreeter: Sorry for the delay in answering but the SP layout changes made it difficult to see the posts, but hey, hug accepted 🙂 and thanks for the good spirited comments, they are really apreciated.
And yes, in the end it’s our minds which force us into this state, you can distract from it but if the conditions that got you there can’t change… yeah, there’s no way out of it i’m afraid.
I don’t think you can avoid people suffering for you tho, even if you succeed. You can ease the suffering but they will suffer anyway. I procured a sure method (same as you did i’m guessing), but the only thing keeping me from using it is not hurting someone. That person won’t live that long (maybe 5 more years, 10 tops) so i’m debating holding it out until then. No idea if i’ll be able tho.
Some side effects will never go away i’m afraid but i have to admit i got lucky, since i mostly got wear out more than damage (eating healthy really helped me there) so i can live with it. I wish you for the best as well, hope you find the peace you are looking either in life or death, and again, thanks for the good wishes 🙂