I recently had someone reach out to me and tho they didn’t have to, they did. I have made a huge mess out of my life, allowed myself to be abused and taken advantage of and am too ashamed to tell anyone.
Now your problem or “secret” could be anything. Maybe you harm yourself, maybe you’re being abused, or maybe like me you’ve somehow gotten yourself into some huge mess. What I realized today is how much it helps to have someone else’s opinion on your situation. They see things that you won’t see. Steps that you can take that you may not think of. Personally, I am overwhelmed with my problems and the only influence I had on my thoughts was the person causing me the problems (although that would technically be me since I’m allowing it to happen) but the person who’s taking advantage of me has the biggest control over me right now, so having somone give me their advice helped me so much.
I was thinking about how many people out there come here to vent or express their feelings or intentions regarding suicide, but maybe never actually speak to people about the things that are going on in their life. We tend to put on a good front in real life and hide everything negative, but talking to this person today really helped me. Yes, I still want to die and my life is still destroyed beyond repair, but he gave me a ray of hope and also told me about something that I need to try to do which I hadn’t thought of.
So if you’re struggling in silence with your problems, I encourage you to somehow try to talk to someone. In my case, I was very lucky because I didn’t want to share those things with people that I know in person because I’m too ashamed and instead he came along like an angel, from the internet lol. This site is an awesome place to vent share your feelings anonymously, but I see the benefits of talking to someone who you click with now too. For the record, I have talked to a couple of people from sp over the last year and had great conversations, but I guess this was different because I shared details about things happening now whereas the other talks were about depression in general which were also very helpful. Depressed people understand each other and are sensitive and caring people, so we should definitely support each other!
5 comments
I hope things work out as best as they can for you.
Thank you very much. I truly wish that for all of us.
Yeah I really love this site because I feel a real sense of healing when I post something and people are like “yeah I feel the same way.” or “I’m going through the same stuff right now. Here is my story…”
Its nice to be understood and its even nicer to offer your perspective on someones life and having them really appreciate your effort and support.
I just found this site last night.. I’m glad to know I can talk where people just don’t automatically go off the wall and tell me I’m psychotic.. Even if I were idk why ppl make it an insult. Sure being psychotic isn’t a good thing but it doesn’t make you a bad person and it’s not ones fault.. However I joined to get insight on where to go next.. I’m pretty positive the end is near.. I have been given all the signs that I pose no worth to this place and I must add one day we all eventually die.. I want to be in control of the time and the way I go.. I want to feel myself slowly slip away and know that soon I won’t be trapped anymore…
Hi again cagedtiger. I wholeheartedly agree with you about talking to someone preferably in real life, face to face. How many zillions of times in my life have I gone into a room with someone in total bits, only to emerge with the bits of Humpty Dumpty cellotaped back together! I am a great proponent of the confessional. I have been greatly blessed with the appearance of many ‘angels’ in my life caged, and you are totally deserving of the same. I am SO GLAD this person came through for you.
I feel much more hopeful now about your future having read this post, I was really worried about you in the other one, hence all the four letter words lol!
Some people really struggle with opening up and it unfortunately exacerbates their loneliness and suffering. If I could wish something for all of us here it is that we find that one special person in real life we can trust and who will not abuse that trust. Yes, I wish that when ‘in extremis’ we can all meet our angel. And you are right, the Internet can sometimes lead us to them.
Thanks for sharing your experience strength and hope (as they say in the 12 Step Fellowships lol).