i am not sure what to do here. i do wish it were brighter.

Seems like you could really benefit from some counseling. Many depressed people are depressed not because of outside influences or tragedies, etc, but because of a chemical imbalance in the brain, even vitamin deficiencies and other medical disorders can cause depression as a symptom.

I’d start with counseling, you might get some insight into what is bothering you. Many people who suffer from depression also suffer from physical pain. I’m not sure of the scientific reason behind it, but to me it’s like your brain is in pain, and it can’t understand it, so it puts it in physical form to at least FEEL it. Just my take on it.

If the counseling doesn’t give you any relief or insight into your issues, speak with your doctor. Like I said, sometimes it’s just a matter of chemical imbalance or other medical conditions. They can run some tests and put you on a low-dose antidepressant and monitor your progress.

Also, I’m big into “Natural” cures and medicine, so try to eat more fruits and veggies everyday and strive to go for at least a 10 minute walk everyday and drink more water. You could also try meditation to help calm your mind.

Just some options for you to consider/try. It’s no fun being sad and in pain all the time, especially if there’s no “logical” reason behind it. Just know that there is hope, and you can get better and feel happy. It just might take some work and process of elimination to determine what’s causing this.

Hang in there!