I found out that when I cut I go into a state of dissociation? I think that’s how it’s spelt.. it’s like derealising your self.. like youre not real and you’re watching someone else cut. I also feel no pain when I cut, only later on when I’ve finally come back to reality..
Another thing, what do I do.. the guy I adore and cherish saw my cuts for the first time & I honestly think he was scared. Or put off.. maybe both..
37 comments
I don’t get the hole cuttin thing. It’s emo right
no.
that’s stereotyping & most cutters won’t appreciate that comment
I just don’t get it Nicola
what don’t you get?
why people cut?
Cause i don’t cut
Ignore blackqwert, I’m fairly sure he is here just to piss people off.
I honestly don’t understand why cut, but then I do occasionally hit myself and punch walls just to feel the paint. I sometimes feel I should be punished, but I don’t know why.
And if it doesn’t get either bruised or sore I feel like it failed and I try again, even harder.
No ok maybe a little look im here to help. ok im here cause.
@Life it does seem that way that Blackqwert is here to annoy people.. maybe but I’ve also heard that it’s his way of life..
I do that too.. nothing beats seeing my own blood run down my arm though
@Blackqwert is that the reason you’re here?
Cause 1 im borad 2 Cause i going to kill my self.
blackqwert stop annoying people.
nicola ive been there, you go into your own little world and feel nothing its either that or get high.
@Blackqwert I honestly have sympathy for you. It be greater if you showed sympathy towards others though
@Jermain I like going to my little own world..
I’d get high if I could.
About that guy, I think it’s kinda normal that people react like that. They’re scared of the pain caused by the cutting, or even of what might have caused the cutting. They don’t know what to think of that, unless they cut themselves. You should talk to this guy if you adore him so much.
@blackqwert
you’re not a fan of cutting,ok. We get it. You don’t have to insult people, though, that helps no one.
Besides, y u want 2 die ?
nicola, with the whole guy situation, i guess the only thing to do now is tell him the truth and see how he reacts. if he turns his back on you then forget him. he doesn’t deserve you. these are hard times for us. no one knows how we feel.
Nicola youe age
I agree with the posters above.
Tell him the truth. He might be more than willing to help you through with any emotional problems you have or you might find out a sour truth, which will be for the better in the long run.
I’m 17 nearly 18
I don’t really want to talk about it though..
If he does actually hate me for it then what am I supposed to?
Waste a year & my virginity for my own coping needs?
Nicola who hate’s you?
Nicola, I’d think that if he really loves you he’ll support you.
I can’t wrap my head around the thought of someone loving a partner and then hate you when you open up. It doesn’t sound human.
But you are the one who has to make the choices, not us. If you think you’d rather keep the secret, it’s your choice, and I hope it makes you happy.
My ex
well…if he turns his back on you then don’t waste your time on him.
you don’t need to rush with anything. if you want to talk ill post my email nic!
You still love him?
A lot
I don’t mind talking on here because you’re all so lovely..
I meant I don’t want to bring the convo up with him again because of his last reaction
if he can’t bear your cutting he can’t take a part of your personality. So a relationship wouldn’t work out in the long run, even if you didn’t tell him.
Just how I see it.
I had this problem too, once. My ex saw my cuts and I told her i just got scratched by a cat, but she knew it was more. She said it wasn’t and eventually I broke down and told her. She was really upset and scared, thinking that it was her that caused me to do it, but when I explained all she wanted to do was help me. He might just be scared of the reasons why, but I’m sure if you really do adore him, and he adores you then, when he knows why he’ll be there for you and help you. Heck, if he really adores you he won’t stop you if it helps you cope. Sure, he’ll be worried, but true love is about sacrifice and if he has to worry about it for the sake of you coping then so be it. Maybe he’ll understand more if you talk to him about it.
That’s just my experience, I can’t pass judgement since I don’t know either of you.. but I hope for your sake you don’t lose him.
“waste a year & my virginity”
I wish my ex had thought like that :/
You’re all so helpful I can’t thank you enough for your supporting comments, It’s nice to know there’s others out there whos in/been in the same boat as me right now..
I think I should apologise for what he saw.. Just got to find out how to word it
@solus4 Thank you for posting your experience on this (and everyone else in fact) I hope for my sake I don’t lose him either.. One question, what do you mean by the last 2 lines of your comment?
Going to be hard nicola. word brakin up is at any age.
just don’t be played.
Well I wish you good luck in whatever conversation you have with him.. Maybe apologising about it is a good way to open things up. It might get him to tell you how it made him feel, too.
Ah, well, we were together for over a year and we lost our virginities to each other, but, I just wish she’d of thought like that when she ended it.
Boy’s play at 18 girl’s do to.
I know Blackqwert, He’s played me in the past but I honestly am obsessed with me.. I don’t want to let go.. Bad isn’t it?
Oh solus4 I understand now, Virginity is not something to be taken lightly, most people nowadays just throw it away.. I’m sorry she had a different view on it.
Work it out.
Yes, so many people just take it so lightly, not caring about who it goes to, or how. We waited for a long time before deciding about it, and we made sure that it was what we both wanted.. I thought about it and, I never saw and end to “us” so, I gave mine to her, as I knew I would never need it again.
I’m not sure what her view is on it, I just wish that maybe part of her could have thought about it, and how much that time, and that one-time thing of losing your virginity really means.
good luck babe with what ever you decide to do
Thats really sad Solus, If I could say anything to turn that around then I would but nothing I say will change the past..
I lost mine to my ex, I was even with him at the time but I trusted him to be gentle and not play me around..
look what happen
Thank you Jermain
I know, thank you for the thought. Yeah, I felt the same way too. At the start of our relationship I held back alot of feelings, just in an aprehensive way before I knew I was safe from hurt, and she opened up to me about her feelings for me, so when the time came to when we lost it.. I was completely trusting.
I really wish I could tell you the answer to what he’s thinking or feeling after seeing those cuts, but only he knows that, and I hope he shares it with you. Sometimes, even if it seems he’s put off by it, he may just find it very difficult to face you, someone he loves so much in so much pain and he may feel that he wishes he could do something about it but can’t.
It’s not the same, but my best friend hadn’t been able to see me for the last couple of months, because he couldn’t take seeing me like this. Not because he was scared or didn’t want to know me anymore, it just hurt him alot and he hated knowing he couldn’t stop it. But he built up the courage to see me, and maybe thats what might happen to you. He might not be put off, he may just find it hard but he has to find the strength to see you, and to be there for you no matter how much it may hurt.
It’s okay, I just hope your next relationship is of the better kind.
Trust is probably the most hardest thing to grasp
I just apologised for him seeing them & he said it was ok he asked me to stop and I said i’m not promising anything which I think is fair enough
He said the whole concept of cutting upsets him but now he’s being really blunt.
It must be hard for close ones seeing people like that, I can’t imagine seeing my best friend the way I am now, I would hate it. Which I suppose is a bit hypocritical really. Maybe that’s not the right thing for him to do, maybe if he speaks and sees you then he can deal with it a little easier and you can both open up to eachother?
I appreciate the thought, but I don’t see another relationship for me, let alone another birthday..
It’s hard for people to understand why you can’t stop. My ex, made me promise not to do it, and somehow, that promise bound me and I stopped. I’ve started again since she left me.. I didn’t want to but I guess I figured, she promised she’d never leave me, so what does the word promise mean anymore?
Were you always close enough that you could talk about such serious subjects such as cutting? Maybe he finds it hard to talk about, since it upsets him and you can’t just stop it. When or if you do find out, if this is true that he finds it very upsetting, try not to blame him too much if he feels frustrated he can’t help or anything. My mum hit me out of frustration that I wouldn’t ‘snap out of it’. I don’t blame her though, it’s a lot for her to deal with, and many people who haven’t been through it themselves find it hard.
Yes, as for my best friend.. we’ve been in contact again, today I managed to tell him about my suicide attempts and it was the first person I’ve told. He came to see me after hearing that over the phone.. and he was crying alot, obviously found it hard, but he gathered the will to see me despite this, and I hope, that this guy will do the same for you.