So here I am again head filled with the how and when and other preparations for my death. Being someone who likes to do things right I was astonished to live through my first suicide attempt a few years back. I have chosen a different method this time. My plans are nearly finalised. I just can’t get past my 3 kids. I managed to say my goodbyes last time. This time I just cant imagine what will happen to them. I know they will be split up and go to their respective fathers but it is after that. How can I make them understand but at the same time I dont ever want them to understand this place I am in. Off to bed again to slee
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I read your note from a couple of years ago and I’m sorry you’re still struggling. At the same time, I’m glad you’re still here. You have three children who would miss their mother more than you might know. Losing a family member, particularly a parent, can be devastating. For your sake, and theirs, reach out for help. Tell someone how you’re feeling. Your last note mentioned that you had been on anti-depressants for ten years. If they aren’t working, tell your doctor. There are plenty of alternatives available. Are you in therapy? How about considering attending a group? Losing your life isn’t the answer. Give yourself the chance.
I beg you to take the advice of Distant Road.
Please reconsider and seek help, if not for yourself then at least for your kids.