just venting

lisarich 4/26/2011 - 9:41 pm

You are good enough, just as you are. Please do not make your acceptance of yourself depend upon others’ acceptance or approval of you. You deserve to be here, and to have a wonderful life. Not just for Hailey but for you. Try to get some help fr your depression, you can get better, there is a beautiful life waiting for you, but you have to know that. God Bless you.

loneangel 4/27/2011 - 12:41 am

It took me a very long time to realize that I could not be responsible for other people’s happiness. I am the world worst about trying to please all of those around me and have been that way all of my life. I am now 34 years old with 3 teenagers of my own and I see them doing some of the same things I did. One of my sons is 15 years old and he has told me almost the same things that you say in your post, and it is hard for me to get him to understand that he cannot make everyone happy, he can only make himself happy. I know that he only wants to be accepted by others, but if they are unable to see him for the real person that he is and not his faults then that is their loss. You obviously have a great love for Haily and her for you. I know it is not easy, but rejoice in that love. As for the things that you do or have done, we all make mistakes. Trust me I believe I made my share times 10 in my lifetime, but that does not make you a worthless person. maybe a bit confused and certainly very upset but not worthless or unlovable. If you are brave enough to get on here and ask for help then you can face anything. I will tell you that I am a drug addict, sober for 10 years now, but still an addict. I lost my children and really screwed up their childhoods. It took a while but I know that I cannot take back or change the mistakes that I made, but I can do my best not to make them again. If you would like to talk more or just vent to someone let me know and I will give you my e-mail. I would be more than happy to listen. Keep your head up and know that you are not alone.

kottonkandiikid 4/27/2011 - 6:25 am

try makin yourself happy and then make others happy…cuz if ur happy other ppl are happy…

You shouldnt blame yourself….this isnt your fault…maybe you need some time alone or something…i feel like that too…everytime im happy it dont stay too long…im only happy for few hrs…and then im back to suicidle again….i feel i dont deserve happiness…happiness isnt for me….all i have is pain n sufferin…something ive been puttin up with the rest of ma life….

i cant tell you not to cut cuz i cut too….if theres anything we can do let us kno….if you want someone to talk to..im here n so are other ppl on this site…

hailey_baby 4/27/2011 - 11:10 am

@lisarich in know i should but it just doesnt happen that way i want others to accept me and when they dn’t i just get really upset and i just get to caught up in it. but your right i need to be happy and not worry about it. @ loneangel thanks a lot and good job on being sober and yeah i am confused and need to make myself happy but it impossible when i have nothing to do b tu it good to know im not alone. and sure id love ur email. @kottonkandiikid good advice thanks and i hope you can make your self happy to

kottonkandiikid 4/27/2011 - 11:19 am

Im tryna to make maself happy n all…but it aint goin so great…maybe once ma college starts again ill be ok i think….cuz atm its holidays n i got nutin to do besides think of ma ex n cry…but i think when ima go bk to college ill be lil ok cuz ill have something to n stuff…

hailey_baby 4/27/2011 - 11:22 am

yeah when your just sittin around thinking all the time it dnt help colloege should give you something to do other then just sit around and think all the time. i think thats part of my problem im just sitting there because hailey not there to kee me busy

kottonkandiikid 4/27/2011 - 11:27 am

Yhh…ma mom was tellin me this mornin to go out today n all..cuz i told her im suicidle n i might do it soon n all…n she said mayb u need to do something to distract yourself…n asked if i wanted to go on a holiday n all….tho i can keep ma self busy for a while…but not for too long…i cry when i go bed n when i wake up…=(

hailey_baby 4/27/2011 - 11:31 am

that what my mom told me it helps during the day just got to fight off those feelings at night and in the morning

kottonkandiikid 4/27/2011 - 11:35 am

yh…lately i havnt been able to sleep…cuz i wake up in the middle of the night thinkin abt him…n then i just start cryin n all…

hailey_baby 4/27/2011 - 11:37 am

it really sucks i know i do the same thing just not a about i guy i worry about hailey and hows shes sleep if shes ok and i start doing the exact same thing

kottonkandiikid 4/27/2011 - 11:40 am

the thing that hurts the most is that im inlove with him and he said he loved me “sometimes” thoughts like come into ma mind when i wake up in the middle of the night n all…i cant help but cry…it hurts so bad…i clench ma chest hard so it wouldnt hurt//but ma chest hurts alot all the time…ma heart aches so bad…

hailey_baby 4/27/2011 - 12:53 pm

i know EXACTLY how that goes my ex alway told me we were ment to be and he loved more then anything in the world but then up and left when he seen this other girl he wanted and to think hes probley tell her the exact same stuff he told me reallt hurt i cryed so hard i was pucking for 3 days straight and head massive headachs and im still really hurt but i know i got hailey to worry about and i dnt need a guy to make me happy just like you dont it might seem like you do but i promise yu u dont

kottonkandiikid 4/27/2011 - 1:17 pm

for the past hr i been cryin…i started to miss him so bad…its so hard….when i really need him hes not here….i feel so alone without him…i cant stop cryin…cant stop thinkin of him….god idk what to do….i feel so fucked up right now…

hailey_baby 4/27/2011 - 5:25 pm

that exactly how i feel i really though i wouldnt ever get hurt again and that we were ganna get married and al that but you gotta know that everythings ganna be ok im sure your a great person other guys are out there ii know right now you dont want a new boyfriend but you just gotta move on with your life and stop jim from hurting you

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