as i stand in the shower with you absent
i wish that all the fucking memories would wash away and go down the drain
i wish that all the pain and emotions would drain out of me
so i couldn’t feel this bittersweet emotion
my body still craves you
like you’re my fucking drug
but my mind knows that you’re so shitty
and bad for me
and i shouldn’t keep up this addiction to your love and affection
but i fucking cant because you’re the only fucking person
the only fucking person that tells me sweet nothings at 2AM when im so fucking vulnerable
you put up with my shit and i dont know if you fucking hate it or love it
because i have given my fucking intimacy to you
and what the fuck do i get back in return?
you’re the only fucking person that can make me feel this way
so i stand in the shower each day
wishing the filth would wash away
but feeling relieved when i still remember the good times we had
but at the same time feeling so much fucking pain, sadness, and loneliness as i remember
i wasn’t good enough for you.