helpless situations

It’s all my fault. Literally. There’s this myth that says that before you incarnate you give yourself life circumstances. If so I gave myself the best circumstances I could. And I did jack shit with them. I always want to go back and hit the reset button and the worst thing is that there isn’t a reset button. Life is shitty because I made it shitty and I have to shoulder it and I feel really depressed. Suicide isn’t easy and I want it to be painless and I haven’t found a good way yet and I fall and get up and I have days which are tens and days which are -1000000.