Welp, here’s a Christmas post a bit early, considering the fact I’ll be traveling more than I’d like.

Yours truly: Hey! Everybody shut up for a second!

rocketman: No you shut up!

Moi: Who gave him alcohol? Goddammit! Was it you Hazy?

Hazy just gives thelost a sly look that clearly admits her guilt

Hazy: Certainly not me!

Myself: Uh-huh, I’m sure. Either way, I have something to say folks! It’s Christmas soon, and it’s a special time for me, even though I may not necessarily be Christian. Christmas is about seeing those you love and miss, and there’s nobody I’d rather spend it with.

rocketman: (slurring slightly) I love you too man!

Me: Good for you buddy! Now, to seal the Christmas spirit I thought we’d have Hazy perform a little song for us, country star that she is.

Hazy: Gives thelost a look that could damn near kill a person Of course I will! It’s my specialty. I’ll do one that many children may remember, but I only remember a few words. Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg! The Batmobile lost a wheel, and the Joker got away! Hey!

Yo: Everybody give her a big hand folks!

rocketman: WHOOOOO!!!!!!! I KNEW YOU WERE STAR, BABY!

I: Hey! Sammi! Get your ass up here and say a few words!

Sammi6x0x0: You bastard! Hello everyone, I’m glad to be seeing you all today. Well, some more than others (glares at thelost while he smiles back like an asshole). This is a collection of the most incredible and thoughtful that this world has to offer. I suck at speeches so everybody drink up (hands thelost a non-alcoholic drink because she’s a stickler on those damn laws and shit)!

Ze host and author of zis vunderful story: Well thank you everybody for being here, it means a lot to me. I’m so sorry I couldn’t include more people, I’ll leave the funny stories to rocketman from now on.