http://oi68.tinypic.com/e6t3sz.jpg
Look at this one. The sky is dirty but the thing that I noticed is that every time I fly from Portugal back to Poland, my airplane flies into the claws of darkness and we have the sun in the back.
Well not all people are bad. There are some bad people in the world, but I believe there are more good people then bad. Its just that the bad ones are the ones that make headlines.
Moderation Jesus Christ…
oi68. tinypic. com /e6t3sz. jpg
Delete spaces.
Look at this one. It’s mine. The window is dirty (cheap airlines, eh) but the thing that I noticed is that every time I fly from Portugal back to Poland, my airplane flies into the claws of darkness and we have the sun in the back.
I can’t get to work for me….I must be doing it wrong, even when I delete the spaces.
That is interesting@your flight back. I like how you worded that btw
PS – Someone down the way is having a major couples fight all in Spanish….wish I knew exactly what they were saying, my Spanish is rusty but I caught something about how the guy was looking at some other girls butt in a thong or something to that effect, I could have it all wrong. Either the whole things sounds interesting.
would you like to stay a bit longer? You have only been posting for two days. It is a very short time. Maybe we can help you? Why does your death need to occur at this time? You don’t need to tell but I would like you to reconsider.
I just happened to find your messages on this website that I didn’t even knew like three hours ago. I have been really touched by what you have written… You seem so determined but so peaceful at he same time… I do not expect anything in response to my message but I could not stay passive, so I crated an account just to be able to write something to you.
I have no idea what has lead you to this point, and I surely cannot even imagine what you have been through. I know it is really difficult though and I am very sorry for what has happened and is happening to you.
I really wish you could find the will to keep hope and try to see a bright side in life. I am sure you could lighten the lives of many people and do nice things with your life. I am convinced you could make people, and more importantly yourself, happy.
I know anyone can find meaning in life, even when it does not seem possible, even when everything seems over. Feelings can change, even the strongest ones. Small things can make a huge difference in a really short time.
I do not know anything about you, I do not pretend I do, I do not know what you feel, but I just modestly wanted to write something because I felt really sad for you.
There seems to be a lot of people feeling concerned by your story on this website.
I apologize for my poor English, it is not my first language… I am from Switzerland.
I really hope you will see my message, if it could help you, or just touch your feelings even a little bit, then it would not have been in vain. I just have to do what I can to help. Just know that your life is important to people you do not even know 🙂
Whatever you do, I hope you will find peace and feel better. I really hope it will be by living though.
alot of people cause others to want to suicide because of their cruel actions. It really really makes me wonder if somebody has been pushing you to die with little or no regard… You are not rubbish, you should not die if somebody said so. You are an intelligent, creative star with a big heart and you will NOT die like rubbish. The people who treated you badly are the rubbish
Help is here if you want it..but the best way is to stick around here longer than 2 days. if the reason is deeply personal i wont ask – but I’m concerned that a person has been suggesting or hinting death at you. Maybe you have been threatened with something… I’m.worried
True that… Abuse deeply affects people..some even go on to abuse themselves. Some feel trapped. Some feel like they cant go on any longer. It seems the flashbacks of abuse continue to compound further and further and push us into a deeper hole.
But still, I can only suggest that you stick around here. It might just save your life
And sadly what you just said is one of the many many things I have to deal with on a daily basis….it’s horrible. Dreams are far worse. Reality is my nightmare and my nightmares are mirrored memories.
I’m guessing by now from what you have tried that… If you could only stay here a while and reconsider,… Not everyone deals with abuse the same way. Seems like there is a void that could possibly be filled, just maybe? To get your mind off it? Maybe this website could help with that.
Abuse will constantly tell us that we are worthless and deserved the abuse. It will constantly replay. I’m being honest, I’m only guessing, I’ve only been bullied throughout school, only sexually abused by a girl my own age for a few months. But i can still remember it clearly. I don’t tell people, I’ve only told the people here and a couple of others.
I’ve done a lot of things to try and change my world around….far too many things. Nothing changes, its always the same in the end. I’ve learned to be okay with that. Again, there are some very interesting factors that have brought me here to where I stand now. I won’t argue my reasons for they make sense only to me.
But again, you are very in-tuned and you were not far off on some of the things you said.
There is something that I didn’t even tell my best friend…sadly, I’m so ashamed and mortified by it, I pray he will never know. If he did, he would be just as devastated by the betrayal as I am. Why am I even saying this???? Eh, it doesn’t matter. I’m about to put on my pointe shoes for the last time and dance. I have this big suite and I’ve moved the furniture out of the way just so I could do this. Gonna be epic on my end….dance with real feeling of knowing that when I come down it will be the last time. Like that of falling stars…..beautiful when you think about it. Okay now I am just rambling…forgive me…I had a shot or two not that long ago and it’s gone to my head.
Is is that shameful and mortifying that you need to die over it? I’ve done horrible things as well. The only thing I can do generally is to not tell people or I’ll be judged. I cant really put it behind myself. If you see my username that’s why I want to die 😛 main reason
I think you should tell him. I don’t know what I’m saying now. If you cannot do that, write it down. Please do not keep things bottled up if possible. I could say, well you are prob going to die so why does it matter? It does matter to me. It seems like there is a void to be filled. Filling it with death? Why?
Although I’m saying if someone wants to live they need a reason. I mean it, two days is not long enough. I’m not trying to minimize what you have been through. I’m not gonna say ‘many have been through it and so can you…’. But you really, truly, with all my heart, SHOULD give this site more time.
You may end up hurting your friend if you tell him but you might not… You really should get some paper try to write it, and scrunch it, or say it quietly…. Something
I’ve been thinking about this for a verrrrrrrrrry long time, I didn’t do this one the spur of the moment so to speak. I am doing this because it’s what needs to happen. I chose the day to do the significance to me.
Yes, there are outside factors pushing me forward…so of them my own accord others not so much. But in the end, the decision is mine. I’ve been thinking about this for over a year now, hence how and why I found SP to begin with. I’ve been reading, dealing, trying to do things on my end. Just never spoke unless it was in therapy.
I’m really okay with what I am doing. I don’t mind the quiet that will follow me. Its not really like I am even leaving anyone behind. I have two people in my life, both of which I only see here and there…basically almost rarely. One of the reasons, is because one lives far from me. But we still talk daily. But its not like these two people are all that close to me either.
You made a good point, you need a reason to live. I don’t have one of those anymore. And I’m not going to live for someone else either….that is selfish on both ends if you know what I mean. Suffering just to suit someone else…yeah, not my cup of tea anymore. Been there done that.
The thing that I’m hiding that I haven’t said, it painful and yet somehow I want to scream it out so badly right now but I won’t. Because it won’t make a difference. And somehow, I am so numb that even when I think of it, it no longer hurts me. Even though it was something that came to light recently. Ppl are twisted….you know that?
Okay rambling again.
Random, I just got my naval pierced a few days ago for fun…..didn’t hurt at all when I did it…kinda annoying the hell out of me now. Not that it hurts per say but…idk….it’s irking me. But its so pretty….lol Oi, no more drinks for me until later….
Twix, I’ve been following your posts tonight, and I’ve felt such a desire to say something, anything. All I’ve come up with is that your pain is palpable. I feel the radiations of it; we all do. But even more so, your kindness and care with your words and humor are felt. You should have been cared for in your life. I don’t know you, but it doesn’t sound like you were, and that is tragic. You are worth care and love–that is obvious simply from this small piece of yourself that you’ve offered up to us. I know what abuse has meant in my life, but I could never truly understand what it’s meant to you. I wish that I could. I wish that I could make it better. I know nothing about you, really, but I will never forget you. That might sound odd, even creepy, but I feel like I’ve learned something about humanity from you. There’s something about your grace, even in the face of clear devastation. I hope you find something to live for. We care, know that.
Get some rest…though I hope you wake up in the morning. If you do, you’re welcome to email anytime. I may have a broken heart, but I have excellent ears. Peace to you.
I did some research.. All day trying to figure out why life had to be so messed up and what if we so happened did succeed at our attempts. According to it… When we succeed with suicide we still don’t escape our problems. We are given a choice to either start all over again up to the same point of our suicide attempt until we overcome it. It varies depending on the motive/situation. I was gonna try to attempt suicide again today…. Had all my folks worried about me. Actually calling people to try and find me. I got too many people depending on me to quit. I decided i’m going to take this wild ride we call life and see where it goes. I rather face the problems here and now. I respect your decision and privacy. It is your choice.
good for you, I hope you finish the wild ride of life as long as you want to. Ride the ***** into old age if you are so inclined and if you do…please don’t forget to knock a few ppl around with you can or mow someone over with your scooter…you can then blame it on senility…LOL
44 comments
The world can be a beautiful place sometimes, can’t it… ?
http://oi68.tinypic.com/e6t3sz.jpg
Look at this one. The sky is dirty but the thing that I noticed is that every time I fly from Portugal back to Poland, my airplane flies into the claws of darkness and we have the sun in the back.
Yes it can. In itself, the world is beautiful, always even when it’s on fire….it’s the people within it that make it a scary place.
Well not all people are bad. There are some bad people in the world, but I believe there are more good people then bad. Its just that the bad ones are the ones that make headlines.
Moderation Jesus Christ…
oi68. tinypic. com /e6t3sz. jpg
Delete spaces.
Look at this one. It’s mine. The window is dirty (cheap airlines, eh) but the thing that I noticed is that every time I fly from Portugal back to Poland, my airplane flies into the claws of darkness and we have the sun in the back.
I can’t get to work for me….I must be doing it wrong, even when I delete the spaces.
That is interesting@your flight back. I like how you worded that btw
PS – Someone down the way is having a major couples fight all in Spanish….wish I knew exactly what they were saying, my Spanish is rusty but I caught something about how the guy was looking at some other girls butt in a thong or something to that effect, I could have it all wrong. Either the whole things sounds interesting.
A red sunset, as they say in the lord of the rings… it means… :/
Love the books and the movie….interesting point
actually…i think the quote is: a red sun rises, blood has been shed this night…or something to that effect, no?
🙂 yes but I can twist it a little for this time…
At night is the moon’s aureola the one that signifies shed blood… but I can’t tell for sure
would you like to stay a bit longer? You have only been posting for two days. It is a very short time. Maybe we can help you? Why does your death need to occur at this time? You don’t need to tell but I would like you to reconsider.
It really is deeply personal….but I do thank you for that. I really do.
Many of us have survived multiple abuses.
This is true but not all of us can live with the scars.
Their not your Scars. You need to give them back.
Really wished it worked that way. How I wish.
Hi “Twix this Rainbow”,
I just happened to find your messages on this website that I didn’t even knew like three hours ago. I have been really touched by what you have written… You seem so determined but so peaceful at he same time… I do not expect anything in response to my message but I could not stay passive, so I crated an account just to be able to write something to you.
I have no idea what has lead you to this point, and I surely cannot even imagine what you have been through. I know it is really difficult though and I am very sorry for what has happened and is happening to you.
I really wish you could find the will to keep hope and try to see a bright side in life. I am sure you could lighten the lives of many people and do nice things with your life. I am convinced you could make people, and more importantly yourself, happy.
I know anyone can find meaning in life, even when it does not seem possible, even when everything seems over. Feelings can change, even the strongest ones. Small things can make a huge difference in a really short time.
I do not know anything about you, I do not pretend I do, I do not know what you feel, but I just modestly wanted to write something because I felt really sad for you.
There seems to be a lot of people feeling concerned by your story on this website.
I apologize for my poor English, it is not my first language… I am from Switzerland.
I really hope you will see my message, if it could help you, or just touch your feelings even a little bit, then it would not have been in vain. I just have to do what I can to help. Just know that your life is important to people you do not even know 🙂
Whatever you do, I hope you will find peace and feel better. I really hope it will be by living though.
All the best to you!
Twix… May I ask what you did that you can’t change the day?
Its not something I did personally…
alot of people cause others to want to suicide because of their cruel actions. It really really makes me wonder if somebody has been pushing you to die with little or no regard… You are not rubbish, you should not die if somebody said so. You are an intelligent, creative star with a big heart and you will NOT die like rubbish. The people who treated you badly are the rubbish
Help is here if you want it..but the best way is to stick around here longer than 2 days. if the reason is deeply personal i wont ask – but I’m concerned that a person has been suggesting or hinting death at you. Maybe you have been threatened with something… I’m.worried
You are more enlightened than you know.
Thanks again for reaching out.
Nice view.
True that… Abuse deeply affects people..some even go on to abuse themselves. Some feel trapped. Some feel like they cant go on any longer. It seems the flashbacks of abuse continue to compound further and further and push us into a deeper hole.
But still, I can only suggest that you stick around here. It might just save your life
And sadly what you just said is one of the many many things I have to deal with on a daily basis….it’s horrible. Dreams are far worse. Reality is my nightmare and my nightmares are mirrored memories.
Yeah the pics are cool. thanks for posting.
You are very welcome. Its lovely here tonight.
These are beautiful. Great view.
I’m guessing by now from what you have tried that… If you could only stay here a while and reconsider,… Not everyone deals with abuse the same way. Seems like there is a void that could possibly be filled, just maybe? To get your mind off it? Maybe this website could help with that.
Abuse will constantly tell us that we are worthless and deserved the abuse. It will constantly replay. I’m being honest, I’m only guessing, I’ve only been bullied throughout school, only sexually abused by a girl my own age for a few months. But i can still remember it clearly. I don’t tell people, I’ve only told the people here and a couple of others.
I’ve done a lot of things to try and change my world around….far too many things. Nothing changes, its always the same in the end. I’ve learned to be okay with that. Again, there are some very interesting factors that have brought me here to where I stand now. I won’t argue my reasons for they make sense only to me.
But again, you are very in-tuned and you were not far off on some of the things you said.
There is something that I didn’t even tell my best friend…sadly, I’m so ashamed and mortified by it, I pray he will never know. If he did, he would be just as devastated by the betrayal as I am. Why am I even saying this???? Eh, it doesn’t matter. I’m about to put on my pointe shoes for the last time and dance. I have this big suite and I’ve moved the furniture out of the way just so I could do this. Gonna be epic on my end….dance with real feeling of knowing that when I come down it will be the last time. Like that of falling stars…..beautiful when you think about it. Okay now I am just rambling…forgive me…I had a shot or two not that long ago and it’s gone to my head.
Is is that shameful and mortifying that you need to die over it? I’ve done horrible things as well. The only thing I can do generally is to not tell people or I’ll be judged. I cant really put it behind myself. If you see my username that’s why I want to die 😛 main reason
I think you should tell him. I don’t know what I’m saying now. If you cannot do that, write it down. Please do not keep things bottled up if possible. I could say, well you are prob going to die so why does it matter? It does matter to me. It seems like there is a void to be filled. Filling it with death? Why?
Although I’m saying if someone wants to live they need a reason. I mean it, two days is not long enough. I’m not trying to minimize what you have been through. I’m not gonna say ‘many have been through it and so can you…’. But you really, truly, with all my heart, SHOULD give this site more time.
You may end up hurting your friend if you tell him but you might not… You really should get some paper try to write it, and scrunch it, or say it quietly…. Something
I’ve been thinking about this for a verrrrrrrrrry long time, I didn’t do this one the spur of the moment so to speak. I am doing this because it’s what needs to happen. I chose the day to do the significance to me.
Yes, there are outside factors pushing me forward…so of them my own accord others not so much. But in the end, the decision is mine. I’ve been thinking about this for over a year now, hence how and why I found SP to begin with. I’ve been reading, dealing, trying to do things on my end. Just never spoke unless it was in therapy.
I’m really okay with what I am doing. I don’t mind the quiet that will follow me. Its not really like I am even leaving anyone behind. I have two people in my life, both of which I only see here and there…basically almost rarely. One of the reasons, is because one lives far from me. But we still talk daily. But its not like these two people are all that close to me either.
You made a good point, you need a reason to live. I don’t have one of those anymore. And I’m not going to live for someone else either….that is selfish on both ends if you know what I mean. Suffering just to suit someone else…yeah, not my cup of tea anymore. Been there done that.
The thing that I’m hiding that I haven’t said, it painful and yet somehow I want to scream it out so badly right now but I won’t. Because it won’t make a difference. And somehow, I am so numb that even when I think of it, it no longer hurts me. Even though it was something that came to light recently. Ppl are twisted….you know that?
Okay rambling again.
Random, I just got my naval pierced a few days ago for fun…..didn’t hurt at all when I did it…kinda annoying the hell out of me now. Not that it hurts per say but…idk….it’s irking me. But its so pretty….lol Oi, no more drinks for me until later….
Twix, I’ve been following your posts tonight, and I’ve felt such a desire to say something, anything. All I’ve come up with is that your pain is palpable. I feel the radiations of it; we all do. But even more so, your kindness and care with your words and humor are felt. You should have been cared for in your life. I don’t know you, but it doesn’t sound like you were, and that is tragic. You are worth care and love–that is obvious simply from this small piece of yourself that you’ve offered up to us. I know what abuse has meant in my life, but I could never truly understand what it’s meant to you. I wish that I could. I wish that I could make it better. I know nothing about you, really, but I will never forget you. That might sound odd, even creepy, but I feel like I’ve learned something about humanity from you. There’s something about your grace, even in the face of clear devastation. I hope you find something to live for. We care, know that.
Thank you Nicole, that was very kind of you and your words mean a lot and they hold a lot of truth as far as not being cared for.
Sorry, if my words become more and more limited, I am tired, it’s been a long
Crap, it did it again….
As I was SAYING:
I’m tired its been a long day and I’m kinda of turning in on myself at the moment.
Get some rest…though I hope you wake up in the morning. If you do, you’re welcome to email anytime. I may have a broken heart, but I have excellent ears. Peace to you.
nicole.m.kiss15@gmail.com
I did some research.. All day trying to figure out why life had to be so messed up and what if we so happened did succeed at our attempts. According to it… When we succeed with suicide we still don’t escape our problems. We are given a choice to either start all over again up to the same point of our suicide attempt until we overcome it. It varies depending on the motive/situation. I was gonna try to attempt suicide again today…. Had all my folks worried about me. Actually calling people to try and find me. I got too many people depending on me to quit. I decided i’m going to take this wild ride we call life and see where it goes. I rather face the problems here and now. I respect your decision and privacy. It is your choice.
Iv read that to I don’t want to come back and do it all again guess we just have to riding it out and give it our best
Thanks everyone!
good for you, I hope you finish the wild ride of life as long as you want to. Ride the ***** into old age if you are so inclined and if you do…please don’t forget to knock a few ppl around with you can or mow someone over with your scooter…you can then blame it on senility…LOL
I would ride that rascal into somebody’s lawn and put scurt marks on it or do a donut lol
Tricked out rascal with nitro to run away ?
Go for it! LOL
That looks so beautyful