I often have to tell myself that suicide is NOT the answer.
I often have to coach myself out of depression and suicidal thoughts.
Im like doctor Jekly and Mr Hyde > one side wants to end it. the other side talks that side out of it.
lol
Im a walking dilema
Oh buy the way Drowning > you recomended the movie “Prozac Nation” to me the other day and I watched in the night before last and have to say that its a really good movie. thanks!!
I like movies like that because I can relate to them.
Peace
Yeah I really see myself as this walking dilemma. I have one part of me that TRYs really hard to be optimistic and trys really hard to enjoy life and get the most out of life. Then the Dilemma is I have this other part of me that thinks Id be better off to just do myself in. LOL
its a crazy banter that goes back and forth in my brain.
LIVE > no jump > Live > no Jump……………
Haha I totally get the battle with your self oh u liked Prozac nation it’s good isn’t it I watch it when I was researching films with mental illness wish I watched it sooner man
And As for trying to kill the thing on the inside: I try that all the time. I believe that pain can purge a person’s spirit. Like fire refining gold. In passed centuries, particularly devout Catholics used to flog themselves as a form of penance. Trying to make themselves clean on the inside by punishing their outside. Something I obsess over, myself. Unfortunately for me, that practice was phased out a long time ago. And every time I type any variant of “I want to be punished with a whip” into Google, all I get is fetish stuff. (Yeah, I know, why would I expect anything else.)
And you bet I’m bitter about it, too. Ugh. No, you idiot, you don’t want to be truly punished with a whip. Or with a knife or with an angry fist or with a crowbar. You just want to fulfill a sexual urge. You have no idea what it’s like to crave PAIN. You’re a pretender. You may be messed up, but you don’t have anything on my kind of messed up. Ha ha.
I sound like such a pretentious, contemptuous tool right now. So I’m going to just stop talking. Sorry, Drowning.
No fish it’s interesting u did make me laugh about the crowbar thing and I’m messed up but ain’t got nothing on your messed up XD if u want to can email me as I’m on my phone it’s harder the follow and reply to post its entirely up to u indigojones5@gmail.com
Thanks, Drowning. Glad I didn’t freak you out.
Haha. Yeah, when it comes to masochism, I think I have literally the entire human race beat. And that’s not me bragging, because I’m truly not proud of that in any way.
On the one hand, it’s incredibly lonely to be a freak even by freak standards. But on the other hand, at least I’m the best at something, right?
9 comments
I often have to tell myself that suicide is NOT the answer.
I often have to coach myself out of depression and suicidal thoughts.
Im like doctor Jekly and Mr Hyde > one side wants to end it. the other side talks that side out of it.
lol
Im a walking dilema
Walking dilema that did make me laugh phantom
Oh buy the way Drowning > you recomended the movie “Prozac Nation” to me the other day and I watched in the night before last and have to say that its a really good movie. thanks!!
I like movies like that because I can relate to them.
Peace
Yeah I really see myself as this walking dilemma. I have one part of me that TRYs really hard to be optimistic and trys really hard to enjoy life and get the most out of life. Then the Dilemma is I have this other part of me that thinks Id be better off to just do myself in. LOL
its a crazy banter that goes back and forth in my brain.
LIVE > no jump > Live > no Jump……………
Haha I totally get the battle with your self oh u liked Prozac nation it’s good isn’t it I watch it when I was researching films with mental illness wish I watched it sooner man
That first one is so true it’s depressing.
And As for trying to kill the thing on the inside: I try that all the time. I believe that pain can purge a person’s spirit. Like fire refining gold. In passed centuries, particularly devout Catholics used to flog themselves as a form of penance. Trying to make themselves clean on the inside by punishing their outside. Something I obsess over, myself. Unfortunately for me, that practice was phased out a long time ago. And every time I type any variant of “I want to be punished with a whip” into Google, all I get is fetish stuff. (Yeah, I know, why would I expect anything else.)
And you bet I’m bitter about it, too. Ugh. No, you idiot, you don’t want to be truly punished with a whip. Or with a knife or with an angry fist or with a crowbar. You just want to fulfill a sexual urge. You have no idea what it’s like to crave PAIN. You’re a pretender. You may be messed up, but you don’t have anything on my kind of messed up. Ha ha.
I sound like such a pretentious, contemptuous tool right now. So I’m going to just stop talking. Sorry, Drowning.
No fish it’s interesting u did make me laugh about the crowbar thing and I’m messed up but ain’t got nothing on your messed up XD if u want to can email me as I’m on my phone it’s harder the follow and reply to post its entirely up to u indigojones5@gmail.com
Thanks, Drowning. Glad I didn’t freak you out.
Haha. Yeah, when it comes to masochism, I think I have literally the entire human race beat. And that’s not me bragging, because I’m truly not proud of that in any way.
On the one hand, it’s incredibly lonely to be a freak even by freak standards. But on the other hand, at least I’m the best at something, right?
Oh, and I’ll try emailing you.