I was very happily married to my husband for 2 1/2 years. We were in love, really happy, really getting along well. he’s a filmmaker, and took a project on the other side of the world. He’s done this from time to time. This time, 5 months after leaving, he comes back not knowing if he loves me. Not knowing if he wants to be with me. he wants to move or at least try to go back to the place he was in to try to film commercials. That would drain our savings. He’s really depressed. He can’t find work in the area we live. I love this man, probably too much, but this has totally and completely broken my heart.Â
What to do when you haven’t made poor decisions in your life, and find yourself unable to go on in the way you were?
He now says he does love me. But he has fallen out of love with me. *broken heart* And he won’t work, and he wants to go over there and try to freelance, and he’s doing counseling, but its a hard place to be in. And he isn’t comfortable having sex with me. No, he has not found a girlfriend, that’s not it. Checked that out, and triple verified it.Â
I don’t want to die. I have 2 children from a previous marriage that love this man, and he does love them. if he leaves me…….
I’m thinking CO2.
comments?
9 comments
If he leaves you, you will CO2. If you leave your children, they will …
Wow. That is not something I want to think about. But yeah, I have to think about it. The children would then live with their dad full time. They would be ok, maybe. Maybe not. But it would be me that messed them up. Major deterrent.
^ that is true @unbecoming
Are the children able to survive on their own? If not then you should worry about them instead of your broken heart. Yes it hurts, but if you really love your kids then you should live for them at least. No child likes to be abandoned. We end up thinking it was all our fault and go through life blaming ourselves.
Mostly when being married for 2 years is when the marriage starts to become unstable. This is the time when it sinks or stays afloat. You have to work at it. He may think that he no longer is in love with you, but it also could be from all the stress of not having work and a lot of other things. Not wanting sex also tends to start in the 2 year area. Try to see what is fixable and workable around. Is there something that can stabilize some of the stress. Stress causes depression and fears to come out in the open.
The boys are 6 and 8, so no, they need parents. Their dad is ok, he’s not parent of the year, but he’s decent. I would not abandon my children. I may have to work out how to split time between them and my husband at some point. I would not be able to abandon them. We have now been married for 3 years, and its such a shock from being in love to 5 months later – all of a sudden its like, omg is it dead?! He is seriously clouded from this desire for success. He even says that, he knows its true. He needs to get a job here, at very least to save up some money to go back out there – that’s the motivator. At the moment, he’s not even moving towards that. He sits home on the internet and plays at job hunting all day. He is in counseling, which just started last week, and I am as well. We will need to start going together for marriage counseling soon. But its a day at a time right now. Thank you for your comments. <3
Two and a half years married does not make a life. He’s a dumbass. He’s made mistakes about his career and about you. You deserve more than to be his whimsy. Live for yourself and for your kids. Your husband has already left mentally.
He’s very very slowly starting to come around, back to how he used to be. It may be a waiting game at this point. You’re right, he is a dumbass. 🙂 I hope that if things ultimately go bad I will be strong enough to live on. I’m continuing to act out and speak to him about how marriage is a partnership, and its important to make decisions together, in an effort to make our future together more sure. He nods his head and I can see he’s just so clouded by his desire for success.
=]
Ah, so it is partly to stress. Well, I hope that everything works out. Marriage counseling would defiantly help. You’ll be able to talk out your worries, wants, and figure out what has caused this rift. I’ll be keeping y’all in my thoughts. Good luck.