According to my shrink and my accounts of everyday life I get very angry ta people a lot of the time for no apparent reason. And when I do get angry with I punish the victim of my anger by acting rudely or being rather cruel to them. At first I just bought what she was saying simply because she’s a shrink but then I realized I needed to dig deeper and see if I bought it because I actually believed it. I began thinking over my life and all the wrong I had done and realized I do get angry with people a lot and I do take that anger beyond it’s extent and punish the person. For example, this past school year I had a French teacher I hated more than anything because I felt like he was constantly demeaning me. I developed this anxiety over him after some time and I began hating him for that. I stopped smiling in his class, saying thank you as I left the room and avoided speaking with him at all costs. These were all small things I thought would help me distance myself from him but in reality I became closer and more obsessed with hurting him. This built up my anxiety over him and he started to control myself; not because he was actually doing anything but because I created a monster out of him that didn’t actually exist.. I do this when I get into fights with friends and at this point I’m tired of it. I want to be able to talk about my anger openly and healthily instead of taking it beyond anywhere it should be. Are there ways I can avoid such deep anger? Any methods to calm myself if I feel a surge of such rage?
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