Let’s say you just committed suicide. The method doesn’t have to matter unless it’s important to your fantasy. After your death, you continue to watch the events unfold because of it like it’s a movie. What would happen in your fantasy?
For me, I imagine killing myself in my backyard. No one hears me. Days later after no one answers my phone or gets the door, the stench of my rotting corpse finally reaches the neighbors. Cops are called, family is reached and the hazmat squad comes to clean up the mess. Of course my family is broken up, blaming themselves for what the could have done different, even though I had told them how beforehand. Former friends and ex girlfriends might feel bad. Some might blame themselves others might not.
My suicide note would be found and all my dreams I used to have will be on it. The people I wish I could still be friends with would be mentioned. My ex girlfriends would be talked about specifically, mentioning how I gave my heart to them, only for them to chew it and spit it out. All the people who caused me so much misery would be named along with what they did.
All in all however, my funeral wouldn’t have very many people there. Family and 2 and 3 “friends” would attend.
After that everyone would go on with their lives with absolutely no change to their daily lives. A faint memory would be the only thing left of me. Then again, how is that any different than how I live today?
10 comments
ha ha! your fantasy stinks!! no offence 🙂 i’m in a casino hotel i spend all night drinking spending all my money for like 24 hrs straight, then i go to my room, and say shoooo glad that’s over with! do my painless method and lay in the bed, leave a note on the door whats inside no surprises, leave $100 on the bed for the cleanup lady and a $100 bill up my ass for the undertaker, won’t he be surprised! that way i’m at the morgue a family member just has to look at the video and say yep that’s him. least amount of drama i could do.
I like your hotel fantasy. It’s also my fantasy to go out happy, after having had a great night, in a hotel and take my pe@ceful pill. No stressing or agonising over will it work or won’t it? Will someone interrupt me or won’t they? lol, I have been meaning to tell you for ages that you remind me of someone I used to know…
I think it will be that one moment before death and them nothing. And that part of me, which is eternal may start new life, be it whatever, but without these liferipping symptoms. Doesn’t matter if I will be frog or bacteria, I will still have more energy and joy to live…
But I will play your game. As I live with close contact with family (unless it changes rapidly in near future), they will find out pretty soon. Mom knows I’m suicidal, but she is kind of lightening it up, because she can’t help me. She will be crushed by it, hopefully she will recover somehow. My father will be crushed too, but the thing is if he will try to play strong even after my death – I don’t know, he may collapse or he may ignore it like he does now – in eternal denial of depression ruining our whole family.
Grandma (who I’m living with) may collapse from it, even when I constantly talk about how fucked I’m, she doesn’t listen a shit, so it will be unexpected. Rest of the family won’t be happy, but they will get over it – we don’t have much close relationship.
Friends will be surprised even most of them know -i’m not fine, they will say “I didn’t know it was that bad, he looked fine”. Some of them know I’m suicidal and why, so they may take it calmly even if I let them in this world.
Other people with whom I had contact in the past may not care so much, I don’t know. I had lot of friends etc., but I’m not comunicating with most of them so. They may say I was just weird and crazy or be sad with thought of some nice memory with us together.
Exgirlfriends may be little uncomfortable. Well, the recent one might take it a little personal, which would be super sad, because she has absolutely nothing to do with it and I was trying to have fun together. Ex from my only serious relationship who deleted me from her life may be little shocked, but may deny my existence even with my death.
I don’t know, I don’t care that much. My mental illness and traumas sprouting from that destroyed most of my relationships to the external world. It was nice that time, it was strong, I was bonded with lot of people, but its just past now. I could die of cancer and it would be same. Few tears will be dropped, but they can’t match what I suffered through the years. Life will go with its normal rhytms with me living or dying, doesn’t matter that much…
And about note. I think the shorter, the better. Just a few words to assure them it was just my mental state and not anyone’s direct influence and to have fun.
How about,
Remember Grant remember Lee the hell with them remember me!
They will think your nuts alright! 🙂
I would like to be a ghost, flitting around, just seeing certain people’s reactions. Or not. Maybe that wouldn’t be so great of an idea.
I’ve always thought the best way would be to lose yourself in South America or Southeast Asia. Somewhere the rule of law is a little shaky and where a dollar goes a long way.
You burn your passport. Max out your credit cards, then burn those too. Rip the labels from your clothing and throw them away. Buy new and pay cash. Anonymize yourself.
No one knows you. You don’t speak the language. You are strange, but that’s ok, all foreigners are strange. Register in a dingy motel under a false name. Stay a while, ’til the money’s almost gone.
Then, late at night or early in the morning a brief moment of pain and release. On the beach, or in the woods. Maybe your body’s found, maybe not. The local cops don’t care. They’re underpaid. They have other worries.
Your friends and family never find out what happens. There’s no funeral. Your body is cremated or buried in a potters field under a number. Life goes on.
My suicide fantasy is close to rocket mans. In my fantasy I would get a hotel room for a few days. I would bring my laptop computer so I can post on SP and send out some emails to friends and family and say good bye. I would also go out and get a couple cases of beer. I would spend time drinking my beer and sending out emails. and possibly have a suicide not typed up on my computer. After I got my nice beer buzz going I would simply execute my peaceful death… which for me would be drinking knumbutal and then drifting off to a deep peaceful sleep. I would put the do not disturb sign on the door > so to keep the maids away for as long as possible. I would die after a few hours of taking the numbutal and then maybe after about 2 days of me being dead… the maid would discover my body. The cops would be called. I would be pronounced clinically dead. They would go through my wallet and discover who I am and alert my family. My family would be notified and they would be sad and cry a little bit. I would hope that there would be no funeral for me. I would not want a funeral. I would have typed up some kind of not and left it near my computer as to what to do with my belongings. and that would be it. This is my simple suicide fantasy.
I sometimes think about the immediate aftermath. Being taken from the house in a body bag. It’d give the neighbours something to look at if nothing else.
I intend to scare the bejeezus out of some tiny hickville by dressing up like a mime and picking a fight with a grizzly bear, preferably in a busy intersection. That way, the residents of the town will have something to talk about for years to come. It’d be like a public service. 😛