I’ve been sad for years! It started the summer before my ninth grade year. That summer I realized my parents true colors. I was a daddy’s girl before that summer and that’s what really broke me inside because I put all my trust into my dad. Anyways that day my dad had said some hurtful stuff and I got mad and he tried to make it up by giving me money and I said “money can’t buy love” he gave a crazy look and left the room he came back with a belt and beat the shit out of me with it I had bruises everywhere and then he went the extra mile and said “I should break your neck with this pissing chair” and at that moment I knew our relationship wouldn’t be the same. After that my dad got really emotionally abusive to me saying “you’re gonna be our biggest disappointment” “your an embarrassment to us ” “idc if you don’t ever talk to me again ” “you’re not as cute and you think you are ” shit hurts. He’s pushed me into book shelves , shoved me out the house by my arm, threatened to hit me in my face plenty of times and sometimes he actually do hit me in my face. Idec about the physical stuff those heal but emotional scars don’t. He tries everything to get my mom to turn against me and the funny thing is he didn’t even have to. Today someone sent my mom my Instagram pics (which weren’t even bad) and she calls me calling me a slut a biggest disappointment and she has a surprise for me when I get back home( I’m at my sisters house ) and that she’s totally done with me. Shit sad asf idk what to do neither of my parents like me anymore and I’ve been having suicidAl thoughts all day but I’m too scared to go through it because of fear of whats next in life. I want to tell my best friend about my thoughts ( he already knows about my dads anger problems and how I used to self harm to cope with it ) but I don’t want him to think I’m crazy or attention seeking. But me and him will FaceTime later. My other friend has tried to get me to call the athorities on my dad but I don’t think it’s serious enough. He doesn’t hit me as much anymore but I remember one time he beat me so bad he bruises lasted weeks I couldn’t even wear shorts for jrotc pt days . But that’s my story I’m just confused rn and alone and judged. Oh and there was other reasons I used to self Harm (almost raped twice ) ( my best friend now used to call me a hoe and stuff but he’s been apologizing for years so I finally forgave him ) ( and other stuff ) I really don’t know why I wrote this long novel haha I just need some feedback on what to do
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6 comments
I’m sorry about the family stuff. Like I said many times before, we can’t choose our family. However, our family also doesn’t define us, you’re an individual. Some advice; ride this out until you can become independent, it’ll remove a lot of your current problems. Also, if you trust your friend, then talking to him would be a good idea. And if the abuse continues you can always call the police again, multiple callings over a period of time will indicate to them that it’s serious.
I’ve thought about calling the police but I’d feel bad if my dad got locked up . I just want to move out in a year but I’ll be 17 and my controlling parents will do anything to get me back under their roof and control everything I do .
Just work on getting independent, when the time comes that you don’t need anything from them, you’ll be able to escape their control. However, it may take longer than only a year.
I am sorry for what happed to you. You been thru alot.
You are not crazy or attention seeker. You really need help. As you told you have friends in your real life with whom you care share with. So go and talk to them. Amd take care of yourself.
Selfharm doesn’t gonna make things okay but ‘Selfcare’ can. So Please take Care Of Yourself.
You’re right ! Self harm didn’t make anything better I just had scarred up arms.
Your parents sound kind of psycho. It doesn’t sound like a situation that can really improve at all until you are older and can get out of their house. Just don’t let it duck with your head too much. Like you said the emotional damage can be a lot worse and stays with you a lot longer than the physical damage. Is there any other family you can stay with? Although since you said they are very controlling I guess they probably wouldn’t let you stay with any of your other relatives even if someone was willing.
I think some parents treat their kids like they are playing a game of the Sims. Like they expect to have complete control of the kids lives. They expect to make all the decisions, college, career everything. They want their child to be successful not for the childs sake but instead because of how that success reflects on them as parents. Then they are (disappointed) when the child gets older and they don’t have complete control anymore. Their little sim starts thinking for itself and having it’s own dreams and goals.
It sucks that your parents are so controlling and abusive. All you can really do is just try to survive it. Just try to focus on keeping busy, try to do well in school maybe you can go to a college far away from home and escape that way.