worst kind

Its happening…its happening again.
Its me. They come in and out. Leaving so quick. I thought things were different but they’re not I’ll never be happy..i dont understand why i am being punished. Nothing makes sense. And now im sitting here with a handful of pills…and right in the next room is a draw filled with knives..down the street it a bridge. So many option. My head all fuzzy. To taste happiness and watch is disappear in front of your eyes worst kind of pain. To see what could have been but isn’t.