It gives me creeps that I can just relapse at any given moment,,
You are who you are only when you’re alone and free, if you have good thoughts when you’re alone then you’re safe, if you have thoughts about dying and fuck ups then you’re probably still a pile of depression walking the world feeling shitty.. the truth is you never really know the truth about what’s lurking deep inside of you until you’re isolated, that’s when all the distractions go away and there’s no fog anymore, no loudness, no crowded spaces, no nothing! Only the thoughts that have been suppressed emerging slowly to take over..
So never ever judge your progression until you’re alone!
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Well, hell, when I’m alone for extended periods of time, I feel great, the world seems so much brighter, and I feel comfortable. And then I have to go to the store, or go to work, and I forget what that’s like. People suck. I’d give anything to be a survivor in a zombie apocalypse. If only.
Yes. It is well known by monks that in order to get to know oneself You have to spend time alone, with God.
It can also go the other way. You can convince yourself of something easily when you’re alone. Then you get around other people and your self-deception crumbles.
Or you fight the truth and create more mental tangles.
I’m alone and unhappy. Negative thoughts won’t leave me alone. I know I truly hate myself so that’s all I’ve got. Self-hatred and sadness.