I go online searching for men to hook up with. (I’m gay) I’ve hooked up with 2 so far, one was 18 or 19 and the other was 55. Yes 55. I’m 15 almost 16 btw. When ever I cum, I always feel such deep regret and remorse, especially after hooking up with other people. Especially the 55 year old. I was raped “statuatorily” by him, and yet I still find myself talking to him over the internet. I always feel worthless and just dirty afterwards, and it’s not even like I’m crazy religious or something. I hate my body and every new pimple or bit of fat is a blow to my ego. And the annoying thing is I’m actually conventionally attractive, which even furthers my guilt. I’m so insecure and even a small comment about my appearance can tick me off. My grades are also another area of struggle. Every time I get a bad grade I can’t help but think about how worthless and stupid I am, but when I get a good grade I’m just like bleh, grades don’t matter. Every mistake I’ve ever made is etched into my brain, and they are just stuck there. I also have no close friends who care about me. I just want to move far far away and have a beautiful loving boyfriend who tells me that everything is alright. I hate myself. Please comment, I’d love the help:)
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well , hello … i still don’t know your name .. i am 18 and i don’t know how to describe myself but i think you already know … We are alike in many ways you know ? if you want to talk you have my e-mail here : Lucyuplay @ gmail . com ( without the spaces )
Any lgbt or support group within your area you can join maybe others can relate or perhaps counseling to.work on your self esteem as well as dig in to.your past to see he trail of issue that occurred. I hope you feel better take care and you dont need peiple to validate that you are special and caring person with worth
gee, i can’t help you with your sex preference, you must like it or you wouldn’t do it, it’s good to be hard on yourself so you will improve, but improve. then it’s worth it. we all feel like shit at times your not alone.
I am 22 and gay, and I struggle with my own set of psychological problems (not generally all that correlated with the fact that I am gay or my physical appearance). I know what you mean about the grades. I have always seemed to catalogue my errors and mistakes, no matter how small they are, and never even remember the things that I did right. My tendency is to remember everything that I have ever done wrong, even when everyone else has long since forgotten such an insignificant situation. I guess that I have never figured that I deserved the luxury of forgetting those things. When I get good grades, they just roll off of me (and within a day, I don’t even remember those victories), when someone else makes a mistake, I don’t even take notice of it, but when I make a small or big mistake, I will never let myself forget it. If you would ever like to talk to someone who is going through something similar, feel free to email me at sacrificial_shaun @ yahoo.com (without the spaces). I also have skype if that would work better.