Basically my dad walked out on me and my mum when I was 7 and left us with a load of debt. My mum had a drink problem and I often had to put her to bed and take care of her by myself from the age of 7. I would walk home from primary school wondering what state my mum would be in. When it got too much for me I went to stay with my favourite person in the world, my great aunt in the country, and one morning when I was staying with her I watched her die from a heart attack. I had to phone an ambulance and give her mouth to mouth at the age of 10 but it was too late. My step dad moved in when I was 12 and I absolutely hate him. I was bullied in the first year of high school and often made excuses to stay off. After high school, I went to college and dropped out because I despised it. I then started to shut myself away in my room… and two years later here I am. My grandad recently died from a long battle with cancer. I was in the hospital the night he died. I was the last person to see him alive. My mum has beaten her drink problem and has tried her best to help me but im too fucked up and completely beyond help. There’s my story.
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That is heart breaking. My dad left me when I was 7 too. Are you living alone or at your moms? I know I might be overstepping myself but I cannot help it. Have you tried anything for your anxiety?
im still just 19 so im still living with my mum. Ive tried loads of medication for depression and they dont work. Like I said I’m kinda past caring now. My life’s had shit luck since I was born. Whats the point in trying anymore?
19 was a fun year… I just turned 23. The point of trying… Well to be honest love I can’t answer that without knowing you better. It breaks my heart to know people suffer enough to want to end their life. Though I cannot say much since I have been in that boat much of my life. I am either wishing I was dead or not caring to be alive. Never happy to be alive anymore… Except when I am at concerts or something of the like. Music and poetry are a big part of me.
Maybe you just havnt met the right person to care about you? What I mean is, maybe you just need to find someone who you can actually confide in. Someone it actually feels GOOD to talk to, not a chore. Perhaps then you might… atleast while talking to that person, feel better?
I understand what u are saying but I live in Scotland. Do u have any idea what british people are like? Trust me. U wouldn’t wanna live here. Everyone my age are immiture arseholes who are obsessed with alcohol and fighting. Trying to find a nice british girl is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
I figured either Scotland, England, or Australia based on how you spell it “mum”. Well maybe don’t focus on courting right now, maybe just a friend? Just someone to talk too. It doesn’t even need to be a neighbor, someone online could be the person you talk too. Infact sometimes it is easier to not really “know” the person. So you are not as afraid of being judged in the very begining. If you want I am more than willing to hear you out whenever you need a mate :P.
And trust me nice girls are hard to find anywhere – even in the USA. Especially around our age. I suppose it gets easier later on, if we live that long.
cheers. my email is jamiestruthers@gmail.com
how many prescription drugs have you taken for your depression??? I am just wondering because I have had a shit load..
I’ve had about 6 different types of medication trying each kind for about 6 to 8 weeks.
Oh.. I am sorry.. they never work for me.. Is that all you take just medication for depression? or something else?
Antidepressants are supposed to be used alongside another kind of therapy, like talk therapy, behavioural therapy, etc. For instance, seeing a counselor or psychiatrist while taking said medication. Too often people use them alone, expecting them to fix your problems…meds never fix problems.
I’ve been in the past caring about life area… This week I’ve had shades of my depression returning, but I will say, when you do get through it’s more than worth it. I have so much to look forward to in my life, and even when I don’t want to have anything to look forward to, I use the moments when I was happy, the memory of that happiness, to remind myself that the pain won’t last forever. Suicide is about ending the pain…but if the pain will end regardless, why would you kill yourself?
You had to deal with a lot of bad stuff. But your mother got through her alcohol problem, and if she can beat that, you can beat this depression. You just have to keep going. Take care, be safe ♥♥