I posted a couple years ago, lost the account and now I am back. For being as young as I am, I should not want to kill myself as baldy as I want to. I want to die from a medical cause, such as cancer or some sort of organ failure. If I die from that, then technically I did not commit suicide and my family does not have to bear the embarrassment. With all my friends going out and having sex, it seems that I am not wanted.
In my short 19 years of life I had appendicitis and a heart condition that should have killed me. Once I got over my appendicitis I promised to myself that I would not say anything if I got another serious medical condition.
I had felt the symptoms of my heart problem but did not tell anyone. Once I started fainting I was made to go to the doctor and find out what was wrong. Maybe I am rambling, but I am seriously done with my life.
I am a waste of space that should be removed. Unfortunately, certain events must occur before I can kill myself. I am screaming kill me but no one hears a sound.
1 comment
Can definitely relate to you. I need to be gone too, mate. Because taking a leap such as hanging or jumping off height is ridiculously hard. Your mind might want to but your body just doesn’t move. Fuking hell.
I wish I could make or even acquire cyanide, because when you drink it. That’s it. There’s no going back and your body can fight or do whatever it wants. You’re a dead man either way. But have Plan A, B, C and Experimental methods. I might suicide somewhere next week. If one plan doesn’t move to plan B. If that doesn’t work then the final method would be suspension hanging, sure going to be hella painful but want to be finally gone.