Every scar is from a plea, a punishment or a form of control. Not once was there ever one particular reason as to why i ever selfharmed.. It was just what i used to deal. Its been 5 months today since ive cut myself.
That was a shitty time. I tried to kill myself over a boy. Not just a boy but the boy was the breaking point. Had a really shitty breakup. We were both just toxic. And i took morphine and cut myself over 300 times. My family found out about my depression and “suicide tendancies” after i took myself to the hospital stoned out of my mind and bloody.

The hospital kind of just gave me pills that I didnt take and sent me away. Didnt even give me any contact method to get another perscription or to have a therapist.

I ended up deciding to take some time off, wemt on a trip to BC with my nana.. All the way to the ocean. Spent a lot of time with my mom and sisters going to the river and quadding. I started going to the gym at least 3 times a week and ended up going almost everyday.

I decided home wasnt where I wanted to be so i moved out. I couchsurfed and got a job and now im renting a beautiful apartment with my bestfriend. Im feeping a budding romance but i dont want to persue it yet. I am just getting on my feet. Im still working on bettering my life. I smile and laugh all day. I SING AT WORK

and yet i still feel like hurting myself every night