Starting off 2017, many things have already caused me to become severely depressed to the point of numbness… and it’s only the 3rd.
A recap of 2016, give or take:
–I experienced having someone close to me die. And later on, I’ll have a second experience. Both of my Grandma’s gone, just like that.
–I experienced my graduation ceremony.
–I experienced college.
–I experienced independence.
–I experienced reality.
–I realized I had no friends.
–I realized I had no family.
–I realized I had nobody to talk to.
–I realized that life is not going to be any easier.
–I realized that crying is okay.
–I realized that nobody cares what I think.
–I realized that I’m just a burden.
–I realized that I’m not perfect.
–I realized that I really hate being here.
–I realized that I won’t be missed.
–I realized that if I’m gone, they’ll finally see me.
–I realized how pathetic I am.
–I realized how insecure I am.
–I realized how annoying I am.
–I realized how dramatic I am.
–I realized how when everything seems perfect, it’s actually not.
-I realized I am alone. I realized nobody is there for me. I realized.
Please let 2017 be my end.
That’ll actually be the only positive that comes out of this year.
2 comments
you actually did so much more than i ever will .. you should be proud of yourself , that’s what i think .. and hey .. you won’t know until you see it right ? you can always choose how you end it , but at least , give it a try and live , look for something , someone , everything . This is just what i think , my opinion , i hope i didn’t offend you or anyone else .
I feel the same way. Hopeless, useless. Stupid for even trying. That would be my wish too. I almost died a few times 2016. Been in and out hospitals. The most recent one i sure thought it’d kill me, but i survived.. I dont know what to do now except self-distruct. Only thing im good at.