Can’t bring myself to do it

You reached the wrong conclusion. Your bf decided that he intends to be focused on the military. Maybe he truly believes in his goal (perhaps he wants to wipe out terrorists). He also realizes the risk he faces when going to war so he didn’t want to make you suffer in case he got injured or died.

His reasons are not an indictment of you as a person nor is it a ‘fait accompli’ that no one will ever love you. The fact that he dated you for some time should make that apparent.

His priorities simply don’t coincide with your own, so it’s best to find someone who like you wants to get married and have a family (assuming that’s your goal).

Yes when any of us decides to go, it would be considerate to leave as little work and suffering as possible for the loved ones who are left behind to pick up the pieces from the fallout of our demise.

When I was younger and more idealistic, I used to imagine that I’d meet the girl of my dreams and we’d build a life together, everything would work out perfectly (like in a romantic movie). As I got older and realized how hard life is, my priorities changed and I became more realistic and pragmatic.

While it lead to some loneliness I’m glad I didn’t drag any great girl down the road I’ve been. I couldn’t give her what she’d want and I know we’d have a lot of arguments and frustration. I only intend to have a serious relationship (long-term) when I am more financially established so that she and I could live well.