Wow. cooking roast dinner for one is pretty miserable I don’t know why I bother. I’m just eating more food and feeding my misery.. I’m not fat but I’m not getting thinner. I hate what I see. But I need to eat I need that feeling just of something, anything. I miss that feeling of comfort, knowing that someone is beside me when I wake up. My motivation is slipping away again and I haven’t finished my tidying. Actually it might be getting messy again if I’m not careful. I feel heavy and lethargic and I’ve only quarter of a bottle of wine left. I feel like one of Dali’s clocks. Melting away. Tic-toc..
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
9 comments
I don’t see what’s miserable about it. I’ve been cooking for myself, and only myself, since I was about 8.
Cooking for one is easier coz you only need to worry about your portions and you don’t have to share 🙂 You can add in just the amount of spices/seasonings that YOU like. And, you don’t have to take shit from others if it doesn’t turn out all that good 😛
I don’t see the problem.
It gives me pleasure to cook for others. Especially someone special. And I never had to change much because my cooking is/ was loved. It’s supreme. But now like water for chocolate.. All I feel is loneliness and sadness when I cook.. I want to cry I’m crying because I have no one to cook for except me. Cooking is love. Without it, cooking is meaningless. All it means is I get all the Yorkshire puddings and I don’t want them I want love I want someone else to have them because I’m fat and ugly and miserable and lonely and I hate it. I’m not used to being alone, I can’t do it.
I’m sorry, darling. What can I say … if you don’t like cooking for yourself, then you don’t.
I get what you’re saying. Of course. I just never had that chance, so I was forced to enjoy cooking for myself. And I really do enjoy it.
At least you’ve got your wine 🙂
Not much of it left. I do like cooking but I prefer cooking for someone else I guess when i cook now its a reminder that I’ve no one to cook for. I’m just having a meltdown. It was bound to happen things had been ‘ok’ for a couple of days.. Trying to resist urge to cut. And its hard. All i have to keep me company is this site. Iwish I had more wine. I dont know what I’m doing any more. Can’t even wank.
I used to cook for a shelter that fed 20+ people every night and sheltered them. I haven’t been out to do it this year, but I know that feeling. Feeding people is love. 🙂
I completely get this and wish I could still enjoy cooking for myself, considering food is one of the few things I still get some enjoyment out of. No matter how little motivation I have I’ll always find comfort in food, even if it is trash because I can’t be bothered to cook anything special when I know I’m the only one that’s going to be chowing on it.
It also shows how little we care about ourselves in a way, that we don’t feel we’re worth the effort. As you’ve said above cooking is love and if we don’t love ourselves why would we bother?
We’ll have to a virtual SP canteen going to share in the wonders of good grub!
*have to get a virtual
Is there really no way to edit comments?!
This makes me think of Log Horizon. The food tasted like crap in the beginning though lol.
I am the same way. I adore to cook for people, and back in November my ex asked me to stop cooking cause he wanted to loose weight I was so mad cause I was like what I cook Is healthy you just eat to much and he said it was my fault cause I cook so good and he’s gaining all the weight I just said whatever and quit cooking. Once in a while he’d have a work potluck and I’d cook for those it’s enjoyable for me. Now that I’m in my own apartment I’m like well I could cook but for just me it seems pointless cause I’m usually not to hungry. Ill just drink the alcohol and eat peanutbutter and applesauce.
I have an idea you come live in America with me, you can cook for me and I will give you wine and coffee. Win win situation.