I have done. Tons of worst things. Worst thing was “I did what others want me to be”. I’m suicidal because of that.
I advice you “If you do what others wanna see. Then who will be you?”
Sometimes like me; we are suicidal and unhappy because parents, partner, tv person or some guy in religion told how to live life. We all have to have our own path. I’m unlucky. Good luck with your life.
Well, I don’t know if it’s the worst, but I tore my mother’s body to pieces when I was born. She was a teenager when she had me, and even though I was premature, she was small enough that I half-killed her.
I know that technically isn’t my fault, but it’s just so telling, isn’t it? I’ve always been a cause of suffering.
I don’t know why she doesn’t resent me. She sacrificed everything for me and look how I turned out. She should’ve gotten the abortion.
I hope that whenever and however I die, it’ll be as painful as my mother’s labor was. That would only be fair, I think.
I killed a cat. I will skip all the excuses/reasons for that act, it was a kind loving little fella and I killed it. Shit, it still bothers me. That’s not who I am or what I do for fun, but that day it was. Tonight, I sit in my recliner with the best pet I’ve ever had asleep in my lap, my own cat Hooks. I’ve done some mean, ignorant things, but that was, i.m.h.o, the worst. Whoever reads this, you’re the first humans I’ve told.
🙁 That makes me sad, as I love cats very much. That said, I’m not about to judge you for it because I know that you are not your actions.
That said, as a kid, I threw little rocks at a crazy stray dog that wouldn’t stop barking all night long, preventing anybody in the neighborhood from getting any sleep.
I slept with a wife and mother of two, a few times. No excuses, it was just wrong.
I have, off and on, thought of my lifelong suffering as somehow karmically related to that action, even though I don’t believe in karma. Perhaps, it’s just one way of rationalizing my suffering.
Cats are absolutely amazing animals. On the positive side of my ignorant action, I vowed to never harm another animal unless it is in self defense, and worked in an animal shelter for three years helping animals find homes. The guilt I carried (carry) drove me to those choices, (karma-esque?) and yes, I will give Hooks extra love.
There is a wonderful saying in the Bible (I’m not Christian), that the spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle often quotes.
“Forgive them for they know not what they do.”
This, of course, is not to be taken literally. I have quoted this here a few times, and every single time, people took the meaning literally (superficially) and started cursing at me – “What do you mean they didn’t know what they were doing ?” (referring to perpetrators of rape/abuse).
I didn’t have the heart to tell them … you have to look deeper. “know not what they do” means that they were not conscious (free of ego/conditioning) when they did the wrongdoing.
So, I guess my point is … we can forgive ourselves (or others) with the realization that when we did whatever wrongdoing, we were not in our right mind, because no one in their right mind would intentionally hurt another being.
So much suffering on this Earth can be dealt with, if not eliminated, with this simple realization. That’s how I see it, anyway.
Isn’t it past your bedtime, Sir ? 😛 (referring to your post in the other thread) You’re in AZ, right ? 11 45 pm ?
And “forgive”, in that saying, also has a deeper meaning. It means not to mistake a person’s wrongdoing for his/her identity. You are not your actions.
Outside of that meaning, I think the word “forgive” is almost meaningless. Saying, “I forgive you” to someone is almost nothing more than a formality or a custom in our culture. They say that actions speak louder than words, and that’s really true here. It’s how you actually deal with the wrongdoing internally, and how you subsequently treat the wrongdoer, that matters … not a bunch of empty words. Just saying those words doesn’t help anyone in any way. If you forgive someone, show them that you have forgiven them.
Sorry for going off on this tangent. And, I wasn’t preaching to you. I was just blabbering about this topic, in general. It’s an interesting one to say the least.
whoring myself out. i regret it. I had just gotten out of my marriage and I didn’t set out to be that way, but after a night out and being once again sexually assaulted, I decided to stop caring and set a goal to screw every person i could. and i did. I used sex as my drug and I can never take that back. and it makes me still feel worthless and not worthy of anyone to truly love me.
Led women on. Two-timed them. Three-timed them in fact. Paid for camshows. Slept with women that were “taken”. Was unpleasant to strangers. Talked about people behind their backs. Took way too long showers. Bought too much food, then threw it away. Probably bought loads of stuff made in sweatshops. Flew in aeroplanes. Was late for appointments. Heated my room to toasty, then felt too stuffy and aired it. Lived like a bum in my own filth. Chastised my parents for their perceived flaws, never adequately thanked them for all they did for me. Dumped friends. Played hard-to-get.
Applied for, and got places at university. Proceeded to drop out quickly. Lived off government benefits for years without contributing. Spoke but didn’t listen. Interrupted people. Wished people ill fortune.
24 comments
I have done. Tons of worst things. Worst thing was “I did what others want me to be”. I’m suicidal because of that.
I advice you “If you do what others wanna see. Then who will be you?”
Sometimes like me; we are suicidal and unhappy because parents, partner, tv person or some guy in religion told how to live life. We all have to have our own path. I’m unlucky. Good luck with your life.
Honestly? Probably stealing things from walmart when I was younger. I haven’t had a very turbulent life.
Exist
Made my grandmother cry.
Well, I don’t know if it’s the worst, but I tore my mother’s body to pieces when I was born. She was a teenager when she had me, and even though I was premature, she was small enough that I half-killed her.
I know that technically isn’t my fault, but it’s just so telling, isn’t it? I’ve always been a cause of suffering.
I don’t know why she doesn’t resent me. She sacrificed everything for me and look how I turned out. She should’ve gotten the abortion.
I hope that whenever and however I die, it’ll be as painful as my mother’s labor was. That would only be fair, I think.
Walkin around dead
Secretly liking disco. (Or thinking it wasn’t so bad).
Why are you still on this site get a life fagg0t
Whoa! Manners please!
“Nights On Broadway” by the Bee Gees. Coolest disco song ever.
Be careful.
Listening to that sort of music could lead to dancing, then you become a mommy or a daddy.
Beware.
I killed a cat. I will skip all the excuses/reasons for that act, it was a kind loving little fella and I killed it. Shit, it still bothers me. That’s not who I am or what I do for fun, but that day it was. Tonight, I sit in my recliner with the best pet I’ve ever had asleep in my lap, my own cat Hooks. I’ve done some mean, ignorant things, but that was, i.m.h.o, the worst. Whoever reads this, you’re the first humans I’ve told.
🙁 That makes me sad, as I love cats very much. That said, I’m not about to judge you for it because I know that you are not your actions.
That said, as a kid, I threw little rocks at a crazy stray dog that wouldn’t stop barking all night long, preventing anybody in the neighborhood from getting any sleep.
Give Hooks some extra love for me 😉
I slept with a wife and mother of two, a few times. No excuses, it was just wrong.
I have, off and on, thought of my lifelong suffering as somehow karmically related to that action, even though I don’t believe in karma. Perhaps, it’s just one way of rationalizing my suffering.
Cats are absolutely amazing animals. On the positive side of my ignorant action, I vowed to never harm another animal unless it is in self defense, and worked in an animal shelter for three years helping animals find homes. The guilt I carried (carry) drove me to those choices, (karma-esque?) and yes, I will give Hooks extra love.
There is a wonderful saying in the Bible (I’m not Christian), that the spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle often quotes.
“Forgive them for they know not what they do.”
This, of course, is not to be taken literally. I have quoted this here a few times, and every single time, people took the meaning literally (superficially) and started cursing at me – “What do you mean they didn’t know what they were doing ?” (referring to perpetrators of rape/abuse).
I didn’t have the heart to tell them … you have to look deeper. “know not what they do” means that they were not conscious (free of ego/conditioning) when they did the wrongdoing.
So, I guess my point is … we can forgive ourselves (or others) with the realization that when we did whatever wrongdoing, we were not in our right mind, because no one in their right mind would intentionally hurt another being.
So much suffering on this Earth can be dealt with, if not eliminated, with this simple realization. That’s how I see it, anyway.
Isn’t it past your bedtime, Sir ? 😛 (referring to your post in the other thread) You’re in AZ, right ? 11 45 pm ?
And “forgive”, in that saying, also has a deeper meaning. It means not to mistake a person’s wrongdoing for his/her identity. You are not your actions.
Outside of that meaning, I think the word “forgive” is almost meaningless. Saying, “I forgive you” to someone is almost nothing more than a formality or a custom in our culture. They say that actions speak louder than words, and that’s really true here. It’s how you actually deal with the wrongdoing internally, and how you subsequently treat the wrongdoer, that matters … not a bunch of empty words. Just saying those words doesn’t help anyone in any way. If you forgive someone, show them that you have forgiven them.
Sorry for going off on this tangent. And, I wasn’t preaching to you. I was just blabbering about this topic, in general. It’s an interesting one to say the least.
It just struck me … this thread is like being in a confessional.
Father, forgive me, for I have sinned.
I’m not Christian.
whoring myself out. i regret it. I had just gotten out of my marriage and I didn’t set out to be that way, but after a night out and being once again sexually assaulted, I decided to stop caring and set a goal to screw every person i could. and i did. I used sex as my drug and I can never take that back. and it makes me still feel worthless and not worthy of anyone to truly love me.
Unsure of…
Led women on. Two-timed them. Three-timed them in fact. Paid for camshows. Slept with women that were “taken”. Was unpleasant to strangers. Talked about people behind their backs. Took way too long showers. Bought too much food, then threw it away. Probably bought loads of stuff made in sweatshops. Flew in aeroplanes. Was late for appointments. Heated my room to toasty, then felt too stuffy and aired it. Lived like a bum in my own filth. Chastised my parents for their perceived flaws, never adequately thanked them for all they did for me. Dumped friends. Played hard-to-get.
Applied for, and got places at university. Proceeded to drop out quickly. Lived off government benefits for years without contributing. Spoke but didn’t listen. Interrupted people. Wished people ill fortune.
Lied at Olympic level.
And now you’re a little suicidal? That’s strange. And that’s not too far out, apart from the part with the cheating.