I’ve upped my LD-50, and I’ve checked it in different phases. The powder dissolves in hot water, but it turns to paste when cool. It’s properties are such that its solubility is much less in cool water.
I just don’t know that I’d be able to swallow it all and keep it down, but its probably do-able with a milkshake. The back up is the tablet form.
I won’t do it at home. I don’t want to distress any sale. There shouldn’t be any gore, as with a gun. I want to minimize traumatizing anyone, so I’d rather not use a hotel. A park seems best. Not an urban park, but an open outdoor place. I know what days the ranger makes the treck to empty the trash. It’s not like they aren’t prepared for it. If I wear an adult diaper, I shouldn’t make much of a mess. They’ll be able to identify my remains, so as not to impinge upon the life insurance claim.
But what about timing?
Timing is tough. Initially, it will just appear as though some old fool over exercised and had a heart attack, but the toxicology report will change the story, but that will be several weeks later after any shock, and who knows, the coroner may not want to clarify it.
But what about timing?
All winter I’ve felt sad about needing to go and die alone in the cold, but the weather is heating up, so there are more possibilities. With Christmas passed, I’m not casting a cloud on that holiday. I still have to navigate by a couple of birthday’s and Mother’s Day.
But what about timing?
Father’s Day is sooner. I don’t think it would be a big deal. It’s not a bad date or association. My birthday would be better, although I don’t want to wait.
I’ll just try to whittle away at the remaining tasks to ease the transition before the ranger puts me out with the trash.
I’t a beautiful spot, not as picturesque as the Golden Gate Bridge, but my body needs to be recovered. It will be be a nice place to relax, attune my field, and take in the stars during my last moments.
2 comments
What’s that powder/paste
I’m a lurker here but I had to comment because you sound like you’re really serious about ending it. You have the means and you have a careful plan. I went back and read some of your old posts and you have given great advice. You fought the battle with depression as bravely as anyone could. You rescued a pit bull. I won’t try to talk you out of suicide. I’m just curious, have you accomplished everything you want to do in life, or have you left anything undone? Weird question but it seems like you plan everything carefully so I was wondering if your life’s purpose was similarly planned and executed down to the last detail.