Planning on jumping off a bridge late tonight
I went into the supermarket earlier to get some food to take with me on the long drive there… absently grabbed a box of crackers off the shelf. It wasn’t until I got home that I saw what was written on the box:
‘Mary’s Gone Crackers’
‘Mary’ happens to be close enough to my name to send me into hysterical laughter. It was nice to forget about everything for one brief moment.
And apparently the crackers taste terrible. Should have gotten candy or something.
Oh, the sweet irony.
Such is life.
17 comments
could you maybe take it as a q / sign not to jump ? 🙁
could you, maybe, reconsider?
I’d really like to help or listen to you
can we talk about this?
if u dont wanna talk here, my e-mail is
farahlajeennouraldeen.1
@gmail
I know you feel you have to go
but please “try” to wait this out
🙁
could you please?
I think it’s pointless to add
that though I AM a stranger
I really do care about you
& I really really don’t want you to go
could you please say anything? 🙁
you didn’t even say goodbye 🙁 🙁 🙁
Goodbye sky. I’m sorry things are the way they are for you. Take care of yourself, wherever you are and wherever you go next.
Hey!! This was supposed to be MY week!
I’d love for you to talk to me or someone. I read your previous post (Dec).
I’m gonna bridge it, too, probably.
Listen, if you click on “the suicide project”, and go to the “dashboard” and then click on “30 comments” you can access comments to this post. My email will be on it.
Email me.
Just for fuck’s sake: why not? Right?
Besides, I’m a little “crackers” myself.
Ain’t no shame in changing your mind, SkyLarke!
Please do 🙁
I made a post with your name
Skylarke…that’s so pretty. Stick around and chat. People want to listen. If you still feel like jumping off a bridge, well, there’s always tomorrow.
**stick around and talk…
So, I drove the two hours, stopped the car on the bridge, and my body, drenched in sweat, froze. I couldn’t do it there and then. I drove about ¼ mile out trying to muster up the courage to make another go at it. Instead, someone called, and while I didn’t tell them the details of what was going on, we talked and it dissipated the energy I had built up. It had been years since I got this close. I spent days planning this, including getting all my affairs in order, with suicide letter and all. I even binged on crap I’m intolerant to beforehand to ensure I was sufficiently depressed to build enough momentum. One call, and my carefully orchestrated suicidal plan of complete deterioration subsequently… deteriorated. At least for now. I can’t say I’m upset about not falling to my death, but I can’t say I will feel that way when the monotony and overwhelm of my intense, painful life begins to set in again.
Anyway, thank you for the messages to those who responded. Your words and however much (or however little) you care… means something to me. To FarahLajeen, it probably was a sign, but I was past the point of caring. SQuietes, you made me chuckle. Sometimes I get into a weird place on the fringes of my darkest moods where humor is all I respond to (hence my original post). I’ll even do inane cheesy stuff just so I can cry/laugh at myself and my fucked up life.
Now to shift from adrenaline mode to one plodding step in front of the other. I’m exhausted. I’ll have to clean up tomorrow, but at least there’s no work. literally have not showered in four days and my apartment is a mess, littered with popcorn and empty soda cans. I’m just grateful I didn’t end up in the hospital or crisis center or something. As far as my external world is concerned, nothing happened. It feels like a good thing, but I’m not so sure.
Glad you’re here.
Decidedly an odd place to be emotionally: frenetic and numb, your brain screaming and no one will know but us. That’s okay. We are here for you. We are here for you. Rest up, Skylarke. Hugs to you.
Thank you
read this yesterday but couldn’t reply right then
I’m just sooooo grateful & thankful for this
please “try” not to do this again
okay
& my offer still stands
I’m here for you
Thank you for your care
Most most welcome 🙂
I hope you are still here with us.
Yup 🙂
Read skylarke’s comment above