People want me to open up to them but when I do they get angry. Angry at me for feeling hopeless. For wanting to give up. I respond in like and drive people away and I want to die even more. Why do they do that? Don’t ask me to open up if you’re not prepared to be kind. Don’t make me feel worse for wanting to give up. Get angry at the people who hurt me so bad that I want to die. Not me.
9 comments
It takes a lot of understanding to see where our horrible thoughts are coming from. You have to remember, that a lot of people just don’t know how to deal with hearing these kinds of things. That doesn’t make their angry reactions right, but they are also ignorant to how it really feels and a lot are unable to have more than their view of the world. Taking on someone else’s viewpoint is difficult. But also remember, that doesn’t excuse them. Just be aware of both sides of that, maybe it will make it hurt just a little less.
People like us, in a way, have become something special, while also being at our lowest and wanting to kill ourselves. We see these things, we understand them better, because we are here with you, we can see these things and notice more about the people around us. It’s a blessing and a curse honestly though….
I agree with this comment, such a meaningful perspective to have.
I agree completely and a part of me is aware and accepting of this fact. But it is still crippling each time it happens.
In two paragraphs you pretty much explained why I hang out here. Outside of here and my therapist I know of no one I can run this stuff by without them becoming uncomfortable.
It’s like people get so exhausted with hearing how angry or sad you are yet they continue asking if you’re okay, or continue to encourage you to open up just to shut you down.
This is what I dislike a lot about certain people. If you don’t want to hear it, why bother asking?
(It’s reached a point with some of my friends where I openly ignore their “are you okay?” in conversation. It’s amusing how easily they can be redirected from the subject and forget asking in the first place. Just goes to show if it mattered or not.)
On Twitter there’s been a hashtag to talk about suicide and suicide prevention because of Chester Bennington. I didn’t even fall into the trap of opening up about having those thoughts myself because the stigma is still there. It’s only trendy to talk about it now because of a celebrity suicide. It’s good that people are aware, but many people just don’t understand and they won’t understand unless they’ve felt this way.
Once it’s not “popular” to talk about during a celebrity death, the world goes back to their attitude of depressed/suicidal people being toxic and negative. Don’t ask people like us to reach out when you know damn well you’re ready to shun them the very next minute. That’s why I can only really vent about this topic here.
I say stay open but be prepared to deal with a bunch of idiots that think they are empathic but really aren’t.
Yes, it’s a pain, but every once in a while you make a real connection.
People dont like it when you get upset. It starts out as an empathy response but they just dont know how to handle all the issues so they get frustrated too. I especially love when someone sees you struggling knows very little about your coping choice (which is healthier than other options) or whats going on or how long it has been a problem and offers something that means you should know how to keep your s*** together by this point. Since when? no one gets the whole story and breakdowns are caused by build ups, they dont come from nowhere.