Well, staying at different people’s houses. My mom kicked me out for the second time in the past few months. All because I go to church and hang out with people from church. I think she’s just jealous because I want to hang out with them, and not her. Only because she parties alot and I don’t want that in my life. Last week I went to a party at one of my friends houses, and all I can remember is being really dizzy and going to lay down on a bed, then different guys laying over me. Having a hard time dealing with that. A really hard time. It’s hard to sleep, hard to eat, hard to live. Everything reminds me of that night. And dealing with staying at different homes is hard. I don’t want to care about myself. I want to die. I want all this pain to be over with. I want to be OK. I stoped taking my medicines. I was on 3 different kinds and none of it seemed to help. I’m use to drugs. My hydrocodone, tramadol, weed, xanax, I can’t do without it.
I’m staying with a family from church, and she’s like a mom to me. She cares more about me then my own mom. And she told me I had to eat and take care of myself. But it’s so hard. My stomach is always in knots. I can’t keep anything down.
I want my mom to love me and accept me but she wont. I don’t ask for much. I pay half the bills. It’s not like I’m a difficult child.
1 comment
I’m so sorry for you’re going through. I’m not sure what your moms problem is, but it’s safe to say she doesn’t deserve you. It’s sad because that’s such a waste on her part.
You seem young and like you’re going through a lot of difficulties right now. It really hurts to see people that have less than they deserve in life, it’s heartbreaking. But I’m glad you stopped with the medications, sometimes they help but not always.
Sounds like you have maybe some type of ptsd? From the party? I know no one ever wants to go there but did you tell someone?