when I reached the peak of happiness I suddenly dropped

Another night crying myself to sleep, because I feel like I have no one to talk to about how unhappy I am or how left out and dull I feel. Of course people /”friends”will say “you can always talk to me about anything” Yes maybe I can talk to them but what ever I say will be used against me, rumours will spread and people will judge you. I was at a peak in life and I guess I’ve fallen down again. I literally feel like nothing. Like I’m an outsider in this world, even with family. The point of all this is I don’t actually know. Just my mind thinking.