ive come to the point where I’m ready to die. I don’t care what the afterlife is like, if I go to heaven or hell. I just want this life to be over.
I tried talking to several people, but none of them helped. So many things have come crashing down on me tonight I can’t take it anymore. I’m not even sure if my plan will work, but I hope it does.
Im scared of my family going to wake me up tomorrow morning only to find my lifeless body in my bed. I don’t know how they’ll feel, or what they’ll do. Will they tell people? Post about it on Facebook? Honestly I don’t think people will care that much.
School is getting to be too much for me, I can’t imagine my future at all and I see no point in living if all I do is fuck everything up.
The thing I’ll regret leaving the most is my pet bird. I love him more than anything else in this world, and I don’t know what he’ll do or where he’ll go when I’m gone.
I still need to write write up my note, but I’m looking forward to it.
I’m so close, I can’t back out now. But I’m scared that it might not work. What if I end up living? I could have physical problems for the rest of my life. I don’t want to live and suffer with my family having to know I tried to kill myself.
i found some hydrocodone and lorezapam in my pantry I’m not even sure if there’s enough to kill me. But in health I’ve been learning about depressant drugs slowing down the breathing so then you fall asleep and die on the other hand I’ve read stories of people surviving taking over 150 pills I know there’s definitely not that many in my pantry.
All I know is right before I take them I’m going to text my crush of 2 years that I will miss him and even though he doesn’t like me that I love him and hope he finds happiness
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Update: Dammit the medication is expired. But I just read it could still work?
it could still work if you had the right amount. however, it being expired only decreases it’s potency. if you enjoy trips to the hospital and later, psych ward, I suggest you follow through with this method. otherwise, I highly suggest taking a breather. go outside. sit in silence, or not, listen to music. pray, whether you believe or not. do not feed into what you’re feeling, I know it’s tempting, but don’t. You need to take action, but not in this manner.
1) You don’t have a very good method (although we are supposed to be like DONT DO IT… Im just saying your method ain’t solid…. therefore you will survive and land in hell hole loony bin)
2) Do NOT, I repeat do NOT text this f*ck boy he will be so creeped out and will only pity you. Plus what you’re probably young. He will literally just be like “Who the hell is this” then if you die he’ll be like “wow that’s creepy ” and potentially blame himself
I’m just saying you should not text this guy. You must be young.
Besides, texting someone just prior to your anticipated departure can launch an invention. Ask me how I know this…
*intervention*
I see that it would be creepy. He knows that I like him, and he liked me back at one point but I don’t think so anymore. I’ve been trying hard to move on from him but i have this weird like emotional attachment to him and I don’t know how to break free
I call that a case of “too good to be true”
‘you still with us, deadgrave?
Yeah, I’m here sadly. I read that it wouldn’t work so I figured don’t try if life is just gonna be hell after