I feel exactly the same way! I always put my mask on when I’m in public, or else I would be constantly rolling my eyes at anything anyone says. I genuinely do not like others, but I think it is just deep down self loathing. People tend to project a lot of our inner emotions on others. Idk if it’s the same for you, something to think about.
I mean, you were a total dick to me before. Thought you’d remember.
Anyway, there’s no need to cry. Since I dislike a lot of people, the fact that you’re one of them shouldn’t mean much. The “people that whiskered-fish doesn’t like club” isn’t a very exclusive club and it’s easy to get into.
I can relate. I think you’re like a cornered animal. Your life feels impossible, so you feel frustrated, angry, alone.
Besides, lonely people grow more guarded and suspicious of others for evolutionary reasons. It’s dangerous to be outside the tribe. Alone you’re more vulnerable to a whole host of threats.
The way I see you, you are a very smart person, which makes it very hard to help you, because you are working overtime to figure out what is wrong with you, so when anyone else offers you their input, they sound ridiculous. As if you hadn’t thought of that already!
I don’t know what the solution is, but it seems like you’re building up an armour to the world and everyone else. Maybe there is someone very tender on the inside, who doesn’t dare show themselves to the world.
Another thought: Maybe you need distracting from yourself. When you got that pet tarantula, that kind of gave you a moment to not hate yourself, but love your pet instead. Maybe you need more of that. Dunno if you’re on the spectrum, but I believe I am, and I can somehow relate to some of what you’re going through. I recently looked up the etymology of the word “autism”. The entry concludes:
‘The notion is of “morbid self-absorption.”‘
I found that really neat.
etymonline.com/word/autism
19 comments
Why is that? Why do you personally think it is so?
I think I might hate people because almost every single person is a threat to me. But I’m not sure that that’s why.
Because you hate yourself probably.
Of course I hate myself. But I should be able to hate myself without hating everything else.
I feel exactly the same way! I always put my mask on when I’m in public, or else I would be constantly rolling my eyes at anything anyone says. I genuinely do not like others, but I think it is just deep down self loathing. People tend to project a lot of our inner emotions on others. Idk if it’s the same for you, something to think about.
Could be.
You yourself were (or are) despised/unwanted/inconvenient/abused physically or emotionally right?
I was abused when I was younger, but I’m past that now. And most abuse victims aren’t hate machines.
Because most people are assholes. I hate people. Don’t like to be around them.
I wouldn’t say most people are assholes, but most people are a threat to my wellbeing.
Pain?
Ah, it’s you. One of the threats.
You hate me too? I’m crying ?
I mean, you were a total dick to me before. Thought you’d remember.
Anyway, there’s no need to cry. Since I dislike a lot of people, the fact that you’re one of them shouldn’t mean much. The “people that whiskered-fish doesn’t like club” isn’t a very exclusive club and it’s easy to get into.
Besides, I am a terrible person. My friendship isn’t worth much and you’re probably better off without it.
No I tell too many stories to know what I say to whom. I can revisit. It was nothing personal I’m sure..
I can relate. I think you’re like a cornered animal. Your life feels impossible, so you feel frustrated, angry, alone.
Besides, lonely people grow more guarded and suspicious of others for evolutionary reasons. It’s dangerous to be outside the tribe. Alone you’re more vulnerable to a whole host of threats.
The way I see you, you are a very smart person, which makes it very hard to help you, because you are working overtime to figure out what is wrong with you, so when anyone else offers you their input, they sound ridiculous. As if you hadn’t thought of that already!
I don’t know what the solution is, but it seems like you’re building up an armour to the world and everyone else. Maybe there is someone very tender on the inside, who doesn’t dare show themselves to the world.
Maybe I am wrong.
Anyways, hugs
Another thought: Maybe you need distracting from yourself. When you got that pet tarantula, that kind of gave you a moment to not hate yourself, but love your pet instead. Maybe you need more of that. Dunno if you’re on the spectrum, but I believe I am, and I can somehow relate to some of what you’re going through. I recently looked up the etymology of the word “autism”. The entry concludes:
‘The notion is of “morbid self-absorption.”‘
I found that really neat.
etymonline.com/word/autism
I am on the spectrum, actually. And “morbid self-absorption” is absolutely spot-on.
A lot of what you said is spot-on, in fact. You’re reading me like a book, muspelhem, as always.